Date: Fri, 26 Nov 1999 08:45:51 EST From: DEANECHRIS@aol.com Subject: THE GIRFRIEND *********************************************************** THE GIRLFRIEND by Deane Christopher Copyrighted 1999 *********************************************************** "What the f'...", Jake Eagers exclaimed in frantic disbelief as he felt the strange and unnerving sensations beginning to infest the subcutaneous layers of skin in and around the immediately vicinity of his groin and, to a somewhat lesser, though still troubling degree, his superfluous male nipples. "This is ridiculous! Absolutely ridiculous! "Is it?", Vicki Langstrum, grinning away to beat the band, impishly inquired. "Is it really... "Tell me something, Jake. Is your skin all prickly? Are you experiencing a strange... shall we say... internal churning sensation... y'know, that's seems to be emanating from deep inside the epicenter of your loins? And, is that libido-driven prick of your's developing a first class boner..." "Yes! Yes! And yes!", a frantically bemused and clearly agitated Jake Eagers retorted harshly. "This is ridiculous! Absolutely, no holds bar, ridiculous! I mean... What you're suggesting, Vicki! It's ludicrous! Absolutely ludicrous! "Look, Jake! I'm not going to sit here and debate it with you!", Vicki countered calmly. "The proof... as they say, Jake... is in the pudding. And whether or not you accept the reality of what is happening to you is - I guess you could say - rather immaterial at this particular point in the precedings. What's done is done! I've set things in motion and now, all we have to do is wait for the physical transition process to run its' course..." "But, Vicki!", a somewhat distraught Jake Eagers endeavored to lodge a protested, as he unconsciously raised his hand to knead first one and then the other of his oddly pulsating, male sculpted, non-functional mammary glands. "But nothing, Jake!", Vicki's retort clearly conveyed the fact that she was becoming a tad bit vexed. "Look! As far as I'm concerned, you've more than ample time to poop the question and there by make an honest woman out of me, Mr. Jake - I'm not the marrying kind - Eagers! "But have you? "No! "By your own admission, Jake, you made it quite clear to me tonight that you're not in the market for a wife! You just want a friend of the female persuasion! A lady friend you can go out with! A woman who will, when the mood strikes you, share your bed and there by, assuage that macho, over testosteroned, God's gift to women, self-centered, anal retentive, I've got to get my rocks off sense of surging horniness of your's! "Well... so be it, Jake! What it comes down to is this: you don't see yourself as a marrying kind of man! "You say that you care for me, Jake... and that, come what may, you don't want to loose me. "Well... though I'd rather become Mrs. Eagers... since I don't want to loose you - You big, hard-headed lummox you! - y'know, given how much time I've invested in this on-again, off-again relationship of ours... I guess you leave me no other choice than to go for this perpetual girlfriend option of your's... "However, Jake... knowing that it might come down to this... I took out a little insurance policy. "A couple weeks ago... when you were out of town attending that anal weekend of drunken debauchery with those old neighborhood cronies of your's... I went to see this old Gypsy woman that a concerned friend of mine put me in touch with awhile ago... who... for a lack of a better way to put this, Jake darling... dabbles in the mystical arts of metaphysical manipulation. "In other words, Jake... I went to see a witch." "Yeah... Right!", Jake sarcasm punctuated his retort. "And now you're going to proceed on to tell me that you went and purchased some sort a love potion from this magical charlatan that'll somehow coerce me into getting down on my knees and begging you to marry me! Right?" "Wrong, Mr. Know-it-all! Though I could have gone that route, I didn't purchase a love potion! "That would have been far to trite and hackneyed for me. "Feeling fairly certain that you pull this 'girlfriend' shit on me sooner or later, I opted for something that was a wee bit more creative, while being outlandishly diabolical all in one neat little package. "You want me to continue on as your girlfriend? "So be it, Jake! "If I can't be your happily wedded wife, being your girlfriend is just peachy-keen with me! "I'll be your happy to remain your girlfriend, just as long as you don't mind becoming mine!" "What!", Jake incredulously clamored. "Just what in the hell are you talking about, Vicki? "I mean... you're not seriously suggesting that that unintelligible, damn near inaudible mumbo jumbo that you were just muttering a moment or so ago is going to actually change me into a girl... now are you?" "No,", Vicki coquettishly admitted, "not in and of itself, Jake - dear. "However,", she added after a poignant pause, "that so called mumbo jumbo that you heard me uttered under my breath a few minutes ago did trigger a very craftily constructed spell that is even now beginning to do just that..." "Bullshit!", Jake, unhinged by Vicki's outlandish assertion, vehemently countered. "What you're suggesting, Vicki... is sheer and utter nonsense! "I mean... while it is true that you can cosmetically bringing about the change you're suggesting through a good bit of re-constructive surgery and the ingestion of a whole kit and caboodle of female hormones... nothing - And I do mean nothing! - can nullify the fact that a Y Chromosome is a Y Chromosome is a Y Chromosome..." "True enough...", Vicki, in an effort to sidestep what would, in due course, prove out to be a fruitless, albeit futile argument, acknowledged the validity of Jake's assertion. "However, Jake... be that as it may be... you do have an erection, don't you?" "Yes! Damn it to all hell and back! I do... "But - Tell me, Vicki!", Jake fearfully demanded, "Just what in the hell does my having an erection have to do with anything?" "Semen, Jake! Semen! "Before those testicles of your's can undergo conversion into a pair of female ovaries, that body of your's has to expunge itself of all it's residual semen. "In other words, my dearest darling... in the next several minutes or so, that soon to be vagina supplanted penis of your's is gong to start mimicking the legendary Mount Vesuvius as it begins to experience a series of massive, doppler-like ejaculations... y'know, that will completely deplete your reservoir of stored-up semen." Jake, though rattled down to the marrow of his bones by Vicki's incredulous assertions, boldly, if not sarcastically countered, "Yeah! Right! And I'm the King of Siam!". However, even as he was attempting to put on the sham of a false-front to assuage that grossly assaulted male ego of his, Jake felt the advent of the first of several mind-riveting, orgasmic, semen-surges, gushing frantically up along the bore-tube of his manly insemination rod. "Holy shit!", Jake, in utter disbelief, frantically exclaimed, even as his body was racked by a second, third and fourth unsolicited ejaculation of massive amounts of semen. "My shorts! My jeans! They're soaked with cum!" Countering, in a very serene, matter-of-fact voice, Vicki offered comment, "That... my darling... as you will soon come to realize... is the least of your problems..." "Vicki!", Jake, in a voice that was both choked and pained, tersely demanded, "What the hell did you do? Did you spike this soda of mine with some sort of new, fast acting, male-targeted aphrodisiac or a super strong dose of Viagra when I was in your bathroom taking a leak?". "Jake... Jake... Jake...", Vicki teasingly chided. "I already told you what I did and exactly why I did it. "You... on the other hand... seem to have a problem accepting the reality of what's about to happen to that manly body of your's. "Remember... my dearest darling... it was you who initially set the parameters for this ongoing relationship of ours.", Vicki continued. "You... by your own omission... don't want a wife. You want a fall-back girlfriend... y'know, who's at your beck and call... so she can service those carnal needs of your's from time to time... "Well, Jake the soon to be former Snake! Guess what! If I can't be your wife, it's like I said before: I want the same damn thing you do! I want a girlfriend... a lesbian lover if you will... y'know, who can service my own carnal needs from time to time! "And guess what, Jake! Before the hour's out, we'll both have exactly what we want! "Now...", Vicki continued as she got up off the shoddy excuse for a sofa that she and Jake had been residing upon, "knowing fully well how icky you must feel with all that sticky cum of your's splattered all over that lower abdomen of your's, Jake... why don't you take a minute or so and climb out of those semen soaked jeans and shorts. And, while you're busy doing that, Jake... I'll go get you a towel and a moisten washcloth... y'know, so that you can clean yourself up a little before you're no longer capable of attending to such matters on your own." "What! What the hell do you mean about me and my not being able to attend to such matters on my own, Vicki?", an enraged Jake Eagers vehemently demanded of the retreating figure of his girlfriend. From the hallway, Vicki Langstrum cheerfully intoned, "Patience, lover boy. I'll explain it all to you right after I get you the towel and the washcloth I just now promised you." Returning from the bathroom, Vicki took note of the fact that Jake was feebly struggling at the rather simple and mundane tasks that she had suggested he undertake. While he had managed to un-zip his jeans, he had achieved little more. Setting the towel and the washcloth on the makeshift coffee table for the moment, Vicki, with a "Here! Let lend you a hand with that, Jake!", proceeded on to remove first, her boyfriend's shoes and socks and then, his semen soiled garments. Then, in a dismissive, off-handed manner, Vicki. picking up the washcloth, stated the obvious. "Feeling weak, are we?" "Yes...", Jake meekly managed. "I'm so fagged out; I feel utterly exhausted. "That's to be expected, Jake.", Vicki pointed out as she knelt alongside the sofa and deftly began to address the globules of cum that were even then being to congeal on Jake's lower abdomen and groin areas. "You see, lover...", Vicki matter-of-factly continued, "the catastrophic changes that are occurring - even as we speak - throughout your whole, entire body, requires a whole hell of a lot of energy. Though you are unaware of it, you are burning one hell of a lot of calories just laying there. Doing nothing. "Fact is, lover... were you to try to beat feet right now - y'know, and shag that tight little and as yet manly rump of your's out of here... given how beat and discombobulated you look... I doubt that you would be able to make it even half way to the door before these legs of your's would give out. "Hell, Jake! Given the way you look right now, you're probably to weak to even stand up! "A word to the wise, Jake. Don't try. Y'know, because you might fall and end up bruising the beautiful new body that that you're going to end up with when everything is all said and done. "You see, dear... right now, every single, solitary cell of your body is undergoing a genetic re-structuring of its' DNA that will... when complete... transmute all those pesky, male defining Y Chromosomes that you were going on and on and on about and turn then into X Chromosomes." Trading the semen-soiled washcloth for the dry towel, Vicki continued on to say, "And when that happens, Jake... when your cellular structure has a double X Chromosome pairing... which, by the way, it's a safe bet to assume that such has already occurred... given the fact that your penis has... shall we say... atrophied into a pre-pubescent state... of - I would guesstimate - a seven or eight year old's... though the rest of your still manly body may tend to belie the fact... genetically speaking, you... my dearest darling... are already a female." Knowing that her boyfriend, weakened by the transsexualization process as he was, couldn't even muster the were-with-all to make any sort of lucid comment or, for that matter, intelligible inquiry what-so-ever, Vicki, anticipating some of his probable concerns, directed her dialogue in that direction. "Oh! If you're wondering if there's going to be a lot of pain involved in this sexual retrofit that you're undergoing, Jake... the answer is: no. You should experience no pain what-so-ever. "However... you may experience some transitory physical discomfort. Y'know, like when your skeletal frame beings to go through the gyrations and compressions and hip splays necessary to re-adjust itself to the all new, fully feminized physiognomy that you are being fitted out with. "Jake!", Vicki was jubilant. "Look! Look at your penis!" Obediently, Jake, though it took a considerable effort on his part, did as directed. "See!", Vicki enthusiastically exclaimed, as she took her hands and, placing them on Jake's knobby knees, spread his legs so as to gain a much better view of what was transpiring in and around the area of her boyfriend's loins. "It's regressed to a point where it's no bigger than a toddler's! "Plus! Though I don't know if you can see this particular little nuance from your vantage point, Jake dear! But be aware that there are several crescent-like ridge lines beginning to evidence themselves... y'know, that will... in the next several minutes or so.... become the multiple lip-folds of your own nifty little vagina! "Wow! This is something to see, Jake! "Damn! I wish I had my camcorder handy! I would have loved to have caught this all on tape! "Trouble is, Jake: were I to go get it out of my bedroom closet; locate a blank tape and find a battery with a full charge on it, given my run of bad luck here of late, by the time I got back here with it, I'd probably miss the most intriguing facets of this extremely fascinating, if not mind-blowing transsexualization your undergoing. "Okay! This is great! We've got an indentation! Y'know, nestled within those developing lip-folds of your's! Y'know, that will... in the next couple of moments... transmogrify into the outer orifice of your own handy dandy vaginal canal, Jake! Oh! I almost forgot to mention that fact that your penis is quickly approaching the size of a newborn's! "Jake! While I know you can't begin to appreciate what's going on right now... given all the ignominy and anger you must be contending with... but I'm here to tell you that what's happening to your body is the most amazing thing I have ever seen! "I mean... it's really neat! Your skin... it's really, really strange! Jake! While I know this is going to sound as crazy and absurd as all get-out... your skin has a most uncharacteristic fluidity to it! "Alright! This is great! We've got an orifice! "Jake! Guess what! Though I know this is probably the last thing that you would ever want to hear, you - my darling - are now the proud - albeit, most likely pissed-off and thoroughly humiliated - owner of your very own vagina! "Plus! As an extra added bonus, that former schizoid mat of unruly, ill kempt pubic male hair of your's has been tamed and re-sculptured into a tidy, characteristic veed swath of a young woman's pussy! "Just think... Jake dear! You've gone from being the humper to potential humpie in something under fifteen minutes! "And that's saying something! Y'know, because from here on out, Jake... casual sex will be rifled with a whole shitload of unintended consequences! Y'know, that can... if your not very, very careful and take all the proper and persnickety precautions that we women have to take... show up on your doorstep nine months later... If, you know what I mean... "No longer will you be the carefree swinging dick, out on a lark, indiscriminately sowing those wild oats of your's! Now... now that you got your very own secret garden... so to speak, Jack... y'know, nestled down here in between these soon to be re-vamped and emasculated legs of your's... it's a fairly safe assumption on my part that you aren't going to want some horny-assed bastard messing around with you... cramming his manly you-know-what down inside this clitoris equipped new little you-know-where of your's! "Now don't go getting these newly developing titty-whitties of your's in an uproar... my soon to loverboy turned lovergirl! "The likelihood of you ever getting your herified self involved in a heterosexual, male-female relationship is somewhere within the realm of slim and none. "You see, Jake... for some strange, inexplicable reason or another, the transgendering spell that I triggered earlier only interacts with your - I guess you could say - physiognomy. That's to say: it only engenders a purely physical change. Not... as one might think... a mental one. "Once this male to female makeover of your's is a done deal... while I assure you that you'll body will be as feminine as feminine can be... and then some... that poor beleaguered, incensed and no doubt befuddled mind of your's will be as manly and therefore, just as lewd, crude and lecherous as it ever was. "In other words, my dearest darling... tomorrow afternoon... after you finally wake up from the hours and hours of recuperative sleep that this body of you're is going to require once this nifty little feminization process has run its' course... once you get past all the ire and ignominy involved in coming to terms with what you've become... you're going to find that: one, every blessed bone in that new and bodacious body that you're in the process of being fitted out with will be a narcissistic one; and two... with respect to your sexual orientation... it's a pretty safe bet to say that you'll find that you're a lesbian dyke of the First Water. "So... given all of that, Jake... there's absolute no need for you to get yourself in a tizzy worrying about the improbability of you ever becoming a willing participant in a sexual tet-a-tete with some macho asshole out looking to get his rocks off by way of a quick, roll in the hay with you... "But enough of that!", Vicki quipped briskly. "Now that that ugly old pecker of your's has gone the way of the dodo, Jake... I'm curious to see how those secondary sexual attributes of your's are coming along. Reaching over, Vicki grabbed the belt concealing hemline of Jake's sweater and proceeded, without any assistance or resistance on his part, to draw it up and over his head, in effect, disrobing him completely. "I'm sorry if it might be a tad bit cool for you, Jake... and I promise... in a few minutes... I'll turn up the heat and go get a throw out of my bedroom to drape over your shoulders... but for right now... I just want to sit here and watch as you get fitted out with your very own set of boobies! "Just so you know... right now those soon to be chest melons of your's have reached a stage reminiscent of a thirteen or fourteen year old's. Y'know... as in they've just being to mound up a little! "The areolas... y'know, areolas... as in the darker brownish ring of knobby skin encircling those soon to be super sensitized titty-whitties of your's... have... I would say... gone a bit further along in their development. Y'know... as in... they're at least twice as large as they were before! "Wow! This is absolutely fantastic, Jake! "Your boobs! They're inflating right before my very eyes! "They're getting bigger... and bigger... and bigger... and bigger... almost as if these new boobs of your's were a pair of balloons and somebody was blowing 'em up! "Oh, yeah... I mean to tell you, Jake... they're developing into a jim-dandy set of jugs... "Not to small... but not grossly over large either... "Tell you what... let's call 'em ample and leave it at that! "Oh! And take it from me, Jake! You are going to make a lot of your fellow women as envious as all get-out when they get a load of you and those new attention garnishing tits of your's. Plus, with a rack like you've just now been fitted out with, you might as well resign yourself right now to the fact that you are going to be turning heads both left and right! "Fortunately, it looks as if you will be able to wear my bras... and... if everything else goes according to plan... you should be able to avail yourself of the rest of my wardrobe as well... "You see, Jake... when I was discussing this gender realignment business of your's with that Gypsy woman who I got the spell from, she gave me the option of helping her in the design parameters of this new, feminized bod of a body of your's. On her suggestion... and a very prudent and cost efficient one it was... we ensured that these new vital statistics of your's will more or less dovetail with my own. "Meaning... this new body of your's will be damn near a carbon copy of my own. Which... as you have pointed out on numerous occasions yourself, Jake... is about as drop dead gorgeous as a woman's body could ever hope to be! "Don't worry though! While we will bear a strong... to be almost striking resemblance to one another... y'know, in so far as our size and stature is concerned... I've take measures to ensure that we both retain a degree of individuality. "For instance, while I have green eyes and auburn hair... knowing how much you like blondes... I took the liberty of having you - as a female - become one. Also... if everything goes according to Hoyle... those brown eyes of your's will become a very engaging blue. "We also dickered around with your complexion... darkening it just a tad or two. Y'know, so you'll look as if you have a perpetual bronzish cast to your's skin. Y'know, sort of lifeguard like emulating tan... "In other words, Jake... when everything is all said and done... you should look like the embodiment of the quintessential California Baywatch beach bunny. "Oh! And I hope you don't mind the starter hairdo I've arranged for you to have." "I mean... I didn't want you to have to go through all the hassles involved in managing either long hair or maintaining some fancy-smancy hairdo... y'know, like right out of proverbial starters gate... y'know, given all the other girl-shit that you're going to be contending with on a day in, day out bases... "So... and I really think that you're going to like it... y'know, once you accept the irrefutable fact that you have no other option available to you but to give being a girl your best shot... I went with what you might call a sort of pixieish shag cut. Y'know, reminiscent of the style that Markie Post had... y'know, Markie Post, is in the actress - when she played the part of Ms. Sullivan... the spunky... though somewhat naive... legal advocate on the TV sitcom Night Court." "Also... before I forget... there is one aspect of this new girlhood of your's that I think you are really, really going to like, Jake! Shaving - for you - has become a thing of the past! You won't have to buy any more razor blades or shaving gel for the rest of your whole entire life! "Yeah... I know what you're thinking! And yes... it's true! Girls do shave! Y'know... their legs, armpits and sometimes, even their pussys... y'know, depending on the particular style of bathing suit they might want to wear... "However, Jake... my dearest darling... as a girl you won't have to... y'know, because we - the witch and I - on her suggestion... put the kibosh on you're every having to go to that time consuming necessity of shaving your legs, pussy or underarms by empowering that male to female transmogrifying spell of your's with... what you might call... a magical sub-routine that... in so many words... eliminates the need for shaving, body waxing or the ever popular, electrolysis! "Oh... before I go and do what I promised you I do...", Vicki said as she stood up, "...y'know, in so far as my turning up the thermostat a few degrees and getting you a quilt or blanket or whatever's handy... let me tell you something that you are already pretty well aware of, Jack dear. "That stomach of your's... y'know, that was beginning to develop into the paunch of a regulation and... if I may say so myself... well earned beer belly... is becoming as taught and trim as any Playboy Playmate of the Month's. Also, that waist of your's is beginning to constrict, while your hips have begun to noticeable splay somewhat..." With a, "Patience, love...", Vicki sarcastically chided, as she strode over to her apartment's wall mounted thermostat and nudged it's little nub of a temperature setting lever a smidgen or so to the right. Then, as she made her way to her abode's rather truncated excuse for a hallway, en route to her bedroom beyond, she said, "I'll be back in a jiffy! So please, Jake! I implore you! Don't go anywhere... ya'hear!". Then, under her breath, as if speaking to herself, she continued on to quip, "As if you could... in that whimped-out, damn near comatose condition of your's... ever muster the physical where-with-all to do so, my dearest darling..." With a pair of pillows and a crochet quilt in hand, Vicki quickly returned to the living room. Moving directly to the sofa, she arranged the pillows at one end, saying as she did so, "I thought that since you won't be going anywhere for the remainder of this evening and... unless I miss my guess here... most of tomorrow as well... that you'd be a whole hell of a lot more comfortable laying down, lover..." Basically, since Jake was in no condition to either help or hinder her, Vicki took it upon herself to more or less manhandle him into a head propped-up, semi-supine positioning across the run of her sofa's three threadbare and food stained seat cushions. Then, once she was satisfied that she had done the best job she could maneuvering Jake into what she hoped would be a more comfortable positioning, Vicki, though she was somewhat loathed to do so, given that she really would have liked to be able to monitor the entire process of her boyfriend's - soon to be girlfriend's - magically induced transsexualization, picked up the quit that her grandmother hand lovingly crocheted for her when she had headed off for college and gentle laid it over Jake's soon to be fully feminized physique. "There... there! Are we a little bit more comfy-cozy now?" Aware that she wasn't going to receive an answer from Jake, other than a few lucid and ire laden flickerings of his eyelids, Vicki parked her own rather fetchingly formed derriere on the adjacent coffee table and took up her one-sided conversation somewhere in and around the point at which she broke off from it but a moment or so before. Taking advantage of Jake's utter inability to interrupt her in any way, shape or form, Vicki took a deep breath in order to reinforce her resolve. Then, having done so, with trepidation mounting with each and every palpitation of her heart, she launched into something she had been mentally rehearsing from the very first moment she seriously began to toy around with the notion of seeking out the old Gypsy woman's services and there by, acquire the magical where-with-all to change the man she loved into the physical embodiment of a fully functional young and extremely attractive woman. "Jake... I know you're mad..." 'Mad!', Jake's, who's mind - enraged as it was - was as lucid as lucid could be, reeled; his ire ricocheting off his anger, with both re-bounding fiendishly in upon his fervent sense of billowing and self-sustaining rage. 'Mad don't begin to cut it... You! You! You! Bitch!' "...and... believe me, Jake... you have every right to be mad..." 'Damn straight, I do!', Jake fumed in direct counterpoint to Vicki's remarks. "...and you have right to hate and despise me for doing this... this... this dastardly and despicable thing to you..." 'Yeah... you've got that right, bitch!' "...but I was desperate, Jake! Desperate and afraid! I didn't want to loose you! "Why! I don't know! But I love you, Jake! With all my heart! With all my soul! "And... though that damnable manly pride of your's keeps you from admitting it... you sorry son of bitch... I know you love me... as much - if not more - than I love you! "You've said it yourself, Jake! On numerous occasions! We were made for each other! "Hell, Jake! We're not just lovers! We're friends! The truest of truest friends! Y'know, like the proverbial two peas in a pod! You complete me and I complete you! And you know it! Y'know, just like I know it! "I mean... we're more compatible than any couple I know! "Hell, Jake! We're more compatible than even my parents are! "And let me tell you something, Mr. Know-it-all! That's saying something! Y'know, because they're the most compatible couple I've ever - in my whole entire life - known! Y'know, prior to you and me getting together! "I mean... we share damn near all the same interests! You like outdoorsy things! For instance, you like camping... bicycling... hiking... climbing... canoeing - both whitewater and flatwater and shit like that... "Well... so do I! "Fact is... if you remember correctly... you and I first met on that weekend trip down the South Fork of the Shenandoah that the university's canoe and kayak club sponsored. Y'know, when you and that big, red headed lummox friend of your's... Paul What's-his-name... plowed into my kayak with that beat to shit, dented-up old 17' shoe-keeled Gruman that the two of you were so ineptly trying to maneuver into that up-river eddy I was playing around in... "Hell, Jake! When you suggested that the two of us take up scuba diving... if you remember... I was all for it! I even wen so far as to suggest that once we were certified... we ought to look into a taking a diving vacation... y'know, somewhere in the Caribbean... hoping that maybe you'd take the hint and ask me to marry you... y'know, so that we could turn this proposed Caribbean Vacation of our's into a full blown honeymoon... "But did you take the hint... however un-subtle it was? "Oh, no! "While you have absolutely no problem with making this dilapidated, off-campus, Goodwill Store furnished apartment of mine your convenient home away from home... Mr. Jake - I'm-not-the-marrying-kind-of-guy - Eagers.. y'know, when ever the mood strikes you... you - by your own omission - have no intentions of making an honest woman out of me anytime in the near or foreseeable future! "Tonight... when you pulled that perpetual girlfriend crap on me... y'know, with the 'I really like you, Vicki.' bullshit... and, 'I think the two of us are really something special.', platitude... something snapped. Though I never thought I would actually go through with it... y'know, and get up the gumption to trigger the transmogrifying spell that's doing a real number on that soon to be formerly male body of your's, Jake... I reached the point where I had had enough! "As far as I was concerned, you have been in the driver's seat of this on-again, off-again relationship of our's for far to long, Mr. Jake - the Former Snake - Eagers! Incorrectly... as I have just here and now come to realize... I thought that if I were to turn the tables on you... y'know, by fitting you out with your own little clitoris equipped bolt-hole... I would be in control... "Truth is: that was an idiotic and erroneous assumption on my part... y'know, because... after everything is all said and done... irregardless of the fact that you will live out the rest of your life housed in a female body that's... as they say - whomever in the hell 'they' might just happen to be - to die for... you... due to these damnable and admittedly irrational feelings I have for you... are still in control of the situation! "I... the big dummy dunderhead that I am... have succeeded in only exacerbating the situation! "By turning you into a girl... all I've succeeded in doing is pissing you off royally..." 'Yeah...', Jake mentally concurred, 'You sure as hell did! Bitch! 'And... though I'm not what you'd call a violent man... y'know, that's physically abusives toward women...', Jake continued with his vengefully couched thoughts, '...in your case - Bitch! - I'd be happy to make an exception! Y'know, as in if I could muster the where-with-all... you'd best believe I'd be on you like stink on shit! Throttling you up one side and down the other! Y'know, until you couldn't see straight...' Vicki was well aware of the fact that if she didn't play her cards right, she might alienated Jake completely. He might be so mad at her for doing what she had so nefariously gone and done to him, that once he - as a she - felt fully recuperated from his make-over ordeal, he might give her a good piece of his mind (most likely both frontal lobes) and high-tail it out of her life for the dreaded forever and a day! However, Vicki, thoroughly coached by some of her friends and cohorts as she had been, had a trump card yet to play. "Like I was saying, Jake... as ludicrous as it might sound... y'know, given that new, sexual retrofitted body that you're being fitted out with... you - Not me! - still maintains control of the situation. "You... should you elect to do so... once you're once again in possession of all your facilities... can simply get up and waltz out of my life forever... y'know, without so much as a 'Have a nice life!'; 'Go fuck yourself!'; Mother may I?'; or anything... "Though I wish there was someway to stop you from doing something like that, Jake... there's isn't... "And... even if there was a way... I wouldn't... "I want your love, Jake! But even if there was a way to coerce it, I wouldn't! Y'know, because love is only love if it is freely given... "However... before you go that route... y'know, and give me the Big Kiss-off... there's something you need to consider, Jake. "As a woman... you are... shall we say... a non-person. You no longer have a bonafide identity. "Jake Eagers did! You... the new you... unfortunately do not..." "For all intent and purposes, Jake... you are a nobody from nowheresvile... "And... while you might look like a woman... and sound like a woman... y'know, given that... for all practical purposes... you will be a woman... y'know, in... shall we say... a purely physical sense... I think we can both safely assume that you won't know how to act the part of a woman for sometime to come. "In other words, my dearest darling... without a lot of coaching... it's a safe bet that... left to your own devices... you are going to screw up royally... y'know, unwittingly getting yourself embroiled in one mell of a hess after another... y'know, until you learn the ropes... via... shall we say... the school of hard knocks... "And speaking of hard knocks, Jake... I sure as hell wouldn't want to see you getting yourself knocked-up... y'know, because you didn't know how to extricate yourself from a sticky wicket involving you... some lout... and that new, nifty little maidenhead of your's... "Trouble is... without any identification... for all practical purposes, Jack... you're screwed! Without ID, you can't get a job... And without a job... what are you going to do about money? "True... you can get a job that pays you under the table... so to speak... but that's about it... "Of course...", Vicki offered thoughtfully, "...there's always prostitution... "I mean... given this new body of your's... you could make a pretty good living as a prostitute, Jake. "I mean... if you could somehow finagle your way into becoming one of those high paid escort slash call-girls... y'know, who's clientele consist of the movers and shakers of this old world of ours... y'know, as in the guys who rake in the mega bucks... you could... in the matter of a couple years or so... set yourself up for life... "Hell, Jake! Should you elect to go that route... there's no doubt about it! You are certainly going to have the looks for it! Trouble is... you're going to need quit a bit of seed money... y'know, to set yourself in an apartment that's suitable for entertaining that sort of high-profile clientele. And then there's all the high fashion apparel... such as evening gowns and cocktail dresses... not to mention, a fairly substantial assortment of both jewelry and cosmetic paraphernalia... that you're going to need to function as a female escort slash paramour... y'know, that provides custom tailored sexual services on the side... "Maybe... if you're very, very lucky, Jake... you'll find yourself a filthy rich sugar daddy... y'know, who will set you up as his mistress... "I mean... who knows! Six months from now you could be living in... as they say... high cotton at the infamous Watergate Apartments... y'know, servicing a Supreme Justice of these here United States of I've Got Mine and to Hell with the all the little people who scrimp and save to pay this hellacious tax burden that the hoi polloi and their anointed, money grubbing, step-and-fetch-its have... in their infinite wisdom... magnanimously seen fit to impose upon us - the grossly miss-represented ne'er-do-wells of the working underclass... "And Jake... after what I've so ignominiously and underhandedly gone and done to you... if I had the money to set you up as a high class hooker... make no never mind about it... I'd give it to you! Y'know, with no strings attached! Y'know, because I feel I owe you at least that... if not so much, much more... "I mean... now... in lieu of what I've done to you, Jake... I feel totally responsible for you. And because I do... the last thing I want is for you to go off half-cocked and try and make it on your own... y'know, and get desperate and there by run afoul of some low-life street pimp... y'know, who doesn't take kindly to some free-lance whore cutting in on what would otherwise be his profit margin. "You could end up getting hurt... or strung out on drugs... y'know, and find yourself in some prick's stable... doing tricks in exchange for your next heroine high and a couple of pennies on each and every dollar you take in for the nefarious scumbag who... out of the kindness of his heart... has so magnanimously provided for all your earthly needs... y'know, just as long as you don't mind returning the favor by providing for his rather obsessive needs and wants... y'know, like that new candy apple red Jaguar convertible that he's got his eye on... "But that's all nothing more than hypothetical bullcrap, isn't it, Jake? "Knowing you the way I do... I can't conceive of you every willing spreading these developing long and lovely legs of your's... y'know, so some anal retentive son of a bitch can take his manly outty and shove it up inside of this cute and cozy new little inny of your's... y'know, so he can get his rocks off by humping the livin' shit of you! "And then there's the lip and a promise business to consider... "Jake! Can you envisions yourself - as a girl - going down on some hairy assed bastard's you-know-what... y'know, and giving it... shall we say... lip service? "I know I can't conceive of you ever engaging in something like that. "However... as despicable, degrading and repugnant as such an act might be for you to perform... we both know that desperate times call for desperate measures... Just then, just as Vicki finished with that last little quip of hers, a strange - to be almost eerie - gurgling noise escaped Jake's still very manly puckered lips. Responding, Vicki pointed out, "That sound, Jake... signifies that your larynx... y'know, larynx... as in your vocal cords... are undergoing their own custom tailored brand of feminization... "And once that's accomplished... y'know, and that former nice rich baritone of your's has been supplanted with the timbre of what I hope to be a very throaty contra-alto... y'know, that makes those soon to be girlish intonations of your's as sexy as all get-out... for all intent and purposes, lover... you've rounded the last turn and are on the last few furlongs of the home-stretch dash of this simply mind-blowing sexual make-over of your's... "So... that means... if I'm going to cover everything I want to cover... y'know, before you're to zonked-out to hear what I have to say and you're off to beddie-by-land... I'd better get crackin'! "Now just where in the hell was I? "Oh! I know! I was going over your options! "Okay! We've tackled the street walker option fairly well... now haven't me? "Moving on... "As I see it, Jake... you could go to the authorities. Y'know, as in you could go to the police or the local offices of the states attorney... y'know, and tell them what I did to you. "Maybe... if - and you've got to admit that it's a big 'if', Jake... you could somehow get the authorities to believe... what they would almost surely perceive to be... your farfetched assertions... y'know, about how you were somehow magically transformed into a girl... they might be able to find a loop hole in the law that would allow them to bring charges against me... y'know, under... shall we say... the auspicious of some little known codicil tucked away somewhere within the ever expanding Civil Right Laws. "However... I would caution you against doing so... y'know, because who - in their right mind - is going to believe you in the first place, Jake? "I mean... you go to the authorities with this fanciful story of how your former girlfriend got pissed off at you... y'know, because you wouldn't make and honest woman out of her... and how she got her revenge on you by going to see a witch... y'know, to procure a magic spell that... after a lot of who-struck-john... ended up changing you from a guy into a girl... and they'll think your absolutely... no holds bar... crazy! "Either that or that you're whacked out on some hallucinogenic! Y'know, like LSD or something... "Hell, Jake... you go this route and who knows! They might think that your crazy! And because they do, you could well end up with that man-beguiling new tush of your's decked out in a straight jacket, doing a stint in some looney bin's padded cell! Y'know, until you contritely convince a psychiatric review broad that you're you were merely delusional... and that you've seen the error of your ways... and that such will not happen again... and that from here on out you promise to be a good little, law abiding girl... not to mention... an asset to society... y'know, so that you can secure your release! "Remember, Jake! You won't be able to use a DNA test to confirm the validity of your assertions! Your present DNA bears little or no resemblance to what it was formerly! "Neither... I should point out... will those new fingerprints of your's be a help. "While it is true that your new fingerprints will evidence a most striking resemblance to what they had been when you had been a swinging dick of a man... y'know, that would... were they ever to be meticulously examined alongside of one another... baffle and confound top-notched forensic experts for years and years to come... y'know, because they will clearly show that they bear a striking... to be an almost uncanny resemblance to one another... y'know, given the irrefutable similarity of their swirl and ridge-line patterns. However... be that as it maybe, Jake... when push comes to shove... the size difference... y'know, between your soon to be former male fingers and the delicate and dexterous, long and lovely feminine fingers that you are soon to be fitted out with... will quash anyone actually believing that your fingerprints support... or for that matter... give even a smidgen of credence to your seemly absurd claims of once having been a man... y'know, who was somehow magically turned into a woman by his vengeful girlfriend... y'know, just for the spite of it! "Oh! And if you're thinking that an evaluation of your handwriting will add validity to your claims of having once been Mr. Jonathan - Jake, the well endowed Snake - Eagers, my dearest darling... you can forget it! "You see... while a sample of your handwriting might look the same... y'know, to a casual observer... y'know, for sometime to come... a handwriting expert will declare the new and bodaciously feminized you to a first class forger. "As I understand it, Jake... it all has something or other to do with muscle texture... hand/eye coordination... minute and subtle changes in your grip... and a whole kit and caboodle of other aspects... y'know, that are to numerous to mention or... for that matter... even remember... that goes into a person's distinctive writing style. "Also... and I find this absolutely fascinating... as time goes on... and that libido driven male mind of your's becomes more and more in tune with that female body that it's so fetchingly housed within... unless you diligently keep in practice... y'know, by trying to duplicate the way you use to write each and every day... your handwriting will... in the days, weeks and months to come.... become more and more that of a bonafide woman's... Lifting the her grandmother's quilt to sneak a peek at Jake's body, Vicki whimsically proceeded on to commented, "Jake... Jake... Jake... I must say... as of this very moment... you, lover... are the strangest conglomeration of a human being I ever... in my whole entire like... saw! "I mean... here you are! Save for your hands and feet... which are as manly as they ever were... you've got the body of a uncontested temptress... which... bye the bye... still supports that rugged... to be almost craggy... outdoorsy, mustached face of your's! "That means... I haven't got time to shit around... y'know, before the change you're undergoing has run its' course and you fade off into the recuperative oblivion of nighty-night land. "That being the case... I better get crackin'! Y'know, and say what I have to say... y'know, before I have to bid you a goodnight, sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs bite... "Alright! "Since I think it's pretty much a given that you don't want go the hooker route, Jake... or end up locked away in a mental institution somewhere... most likely playing a game of backside rules the Navy with horny-assed members of the inadequately supervised night staff... here's what I propose. You move in here with me... in effect becoming my roommate and I... for my part of the bargain... will do everything I can to help you make the transition to this new womanhood of your's as easy and as non-threatening as possible. "All I ask in return, Jake... is that once you had your say... y'know, and lambasted me up one side and down the other... y'know, as I no doubt deserve to be... y'know, for doing this dastardly and despicable thing to you... you do your best to ride rough shod over any - admittedly justified - animosity you feel towards me... y'know, so that you and I can establish a modicum of peace between us... that will... in turn... allow us the ability to interact with one another... "I mean... while I freely admit that you have every right to be thoroughly pissed-off at me, Jake... having psyched myself out on numerous occasions in the past... I know that my having to cope with you and any pent-up anger you may harbor towards me... will have a negative effect... y'know, on my being able to help and console you... y'know, in this time of need of your's... "So... what I'm suggesting is... once you feel up to it... which... I would wager... won't occur until sometime around midday Sunday... we allot some time for you to vent your anger... y'know, so we can be done with it and get on with what we have to get on with... "Look, Jake! While I hate to be so infuriatingly practical and antiseptically about all of this... the truth is... while that mind of your's will remain as manly as it ever was... the rest of the world is going to accord you as the woman you've become. "So... my suggestion to you is: get over it! You're a girl now! Or... soon will be! So... like it or not... it's like they say... y'know, about the sheer and utter absurdity of crying over spilt milk... You need to get a life! Or... in your rather ignominious case... given that you're starting over from scratch... you need to create one! "And, Jake... that's where I come in... "First off... with me here acting as... shall we say... your femininity coach... I can help you reduce... if not down right eliminate all the trial and error bullshit that you would otherwise have to go through... y'know, in order to learn the ropes of what it's like to be a girl! "For instance... you don't know the first thing about women's make-up, Jake! "I do! "I can teach you how to apply it correctly... y'know, to enhance that angelic face that you are even now in the process of acquiring! "And then there's your very own little, messy monthly visitor... y'know, that you'll be contending with just a short twenty eight days from now... "Well, Jake... if you move in here with me... guess what... I'll be on hand to help you get through it... "Furthermore... though I want you to know... y'know, like right from the get-go... that I won't putting up with a lot of your shit... when it comes to you and your bouts with PMS... I'll do whatever's necessary to make life as hassle free for you as humanly possible... "Time's short! So let me stop pussy-footing around and get down to the nitty-gritty of what I'm offering you with this roommate option of mine! "You need an identity, Jake! Y'know, that dovetails with this new body you're almost finished being fitted out with... "Well... guess what... my dearest darling... I can be the prime mover and shaker in obtaining that very thing for you! "While you might not think so... I've got connections... y'know, as in I have friends... who have friends... y'know, are in position to furnish you... through me... all the necessary legal documentation to make the new, feminine you a card carrying member in good standing of these here United States of our's! "Though it might take up to six months to fully accomplish... given that this shit has to be surreptitiously attended to... y'know, on... shall we say... the sly... given the legality of it all... I think that I can safely guarantee that I will be able to provide you with a birth certificate, Social Security card, voters card and even a verifiable educational history... y'know, extending all the way back to you... in this new girl motif of your's... attending kindergarten... and so on and so on... "Also... as an extra added bonus... working through a good friend of mine over at the registrar's office... I think you'll be able to resume your educational pursuits... possible even as early next semester... y'know, as... shall we say... a female transfer student... y'know, who applied and received a full scholastic scholarship in order to ease the financial burden that goes hand and hand with attending a top-notched and highly accredited graduate school. "I know! I know! That wasn't a slip of the tongue! I said graduate school and I meant graduate school! "While it's true that Jake Eagers hasn't as yet earned his BS degree in paleontology... you... or should we say... that new you could have... y'know, through an erroneous, though well calculated keyboard entry... should you elect to go that route and take me up on this... shall we call it... roommate offer of mine... "Oh! And that bring up something else that I want you to start to think about, Jake! "As a female... you're going to need a new name... "So my suggestion is... start thinking about a new name for yourself... y'know, because it isn't often that a person gets the opportunity to choose his or her own name... "Jake.... Jake...", Vicki soothing intoned, as she took note of the fact that those newly retrofitted, compelling, baby blue orbs of her former boyfriend - turned bodacious girlfriend - were fluttering somewhat sleepily within the sensually sculptured eye-sockets of that most beguilingly angelic and becomingly alluring new countenance that had been so sublimely and magically bestowed upon him in his thoroughly new and brazenly resplendent fully feminized physique. Maintaining her vigil, as she hope and prayed that Jake would - in the passage of time - come to realize that what she had done to him was nothing less than a desperate act of love on her part and that he would eventual find it in that newly herified heart of his to grant her the forgiveness she so ardently sought, Vicki sat there, on that makeshift coffee table of hers, looking on, as Jake, physically done in as he - as a she was - slipped serenely into the waiting and recuperative arms of an untroubled slumber. * * * Rousted from the oblivion of his(f) slumbers by an urgent and compelling need to beat feet to the bathroom and there, empty his(f) filled to the brim bladder, a very groggy, semi-conscious and extremely disoriented Jake(f) Eagers threw the quilt aside and, though it took some doing on his(f) part, awkwardly clamored, in a very un-lady-like manner, into a sitting position on Vicki's dilapidated and threadbare sofa. Keenly aware that something was terrible amiss, but due to the pressing and mind riveting needs to relieve himself(f), the blonde bombshell that Jake(f) had been magically cold-cocked into becoming was unable to spare the mental resources necessary to ascertain exactly what that elusively ambiguous and eerily troubling something was. Spurred on by his(f) need to urinate - A.S.A.P. - Jake(f), in a very Chinese fire drill sort of ungainly and uncoordinated manner, shakily, after several failed attempts, made it to those daintily re-sized feet of his(f); triggering in the effort a damn near debilitating bout of dizziness that in turn, precipitated a dry-heave inducing, stomach churning sense of gut wrenching nausea. Clamping those newly re-sculpture and erogenously upgraded feminized inner thighs of his(f) together so as to reinforce the Herculean effort that those loin based hold-it-in urination muscles of his(f) were so fervently engaged in, Jake(f), who, on a subliminal level of his(f) groping sense of male attuned consciousness, was increasingly, though befuddlely, becoming aware that his(f) center of gravity had somehow undergone a significant shift, began a quick, duck-like waddle towards the hallway and the bathroom it granted access to. As he - as a newly embodied she - began the arduous and persnickety task of gingerly maneuvering to the apartment's truncated hallway and the bathroom beyond, Jake(f), here again on a subliminal level of his(f) severely hampered and therefore, limited manly entrenched perception, became remotely cognizant of the fact that his(f) chest, which in a whacked-out, surrealistic sort of way seemed to him(f) to be a whole lot more pronounced and area-intensive then it should have otherwise been, jiggled and jostled in a very troubling, unaccustomed, independent suspension sort of swishy-swashy, mind-bemusing and befuddling manner. Upon reaching the bathroom, though full cognizance of his(f) change in gender affiliation was still in the offing, Jake(f), on some intuitive level of that newly imposed being of his(f), became keenly aware that sitting was no longer an option. Sitting had become mandatory. And so, with a conscious effort to re-galvanized his(f) hold-it-in efforts, Jake(f) turned about and parked that scrumptiously re-sculpture derriere of his(f) down upon the toilet's horseshoe emulating, white painted yoke-seat; ever thankful that he(f) hadn't had to go through the hassle and delay involved in raising the lid prior to parking that man-troubling new tush of his(f) down upon the toilet's seat. Releasing those newly re-configured, feminized hold-it-in muscles of his(f), Jake(f) felt damn near instantaneous relief, as the flood tide of his(f) disgustingly icky, liquified bodily waste, aided by gravity's pull, gushed, in a rude, fizzling, omnidirectional, helter-skelter like manner, out of those newly re-configured and sexually reclassified loins of his(f); spraying little, ignominious engendering droplets of urine all over those emasculated inner thighs of his(f) in the humiliating, male ego-affronting process. Instinctively, Jake(f), feeling extremely disheartened by the whole ordeal involved in relieving his herified self, wadded up a whole handful of toilet paper and began to use it to dab those urine besprinkled inner thighs of his (f). Then, just as Jake(f) dropped the droplet moistened wad of toilet paper into the recently yellow hued waters of the bowl below, realization impacted on his(f) manly attuned mind like your proverbial ton of brick. "Holy shit!", Jake(f), in a choked off shriek of those throaty, new, contra-alto intonations that he(f) had been magical saddle with, frantically and agonizingly clamored. "My pecker! My balls! Their gone! "They've been replace with a... a... a... girl's stupid cunt!" "Shit! Shit! Shit!", Jake(f) fumed, his(f) thoroughly girlish voice, grating on those delicately fashioned ears of his(f), only served to compound in upon the sheer and utter absurdity of the situation he - as a newly ensconced she - found his magically herified self so ignominiously embroiled within. Then, having taken a quick, albeit frantic moment out to make a hand-groping, cursory survey of that new body of his(f), Jake(f) continued on to vehemently exclaim, "Damn! Not only have I been pussified! But, I've got a jim-dandy pair of women's jugs to boot! "Vicki!", Jake(f)'s ire was damn near malleable. "How...", he(f) plaintively shrieked. "How could you do this... this... this god-awful, despicable and deplorable thing to me, Vicki?", Jake(f) angrily fumed, as he(f) cupped the underside of both of those new, ample breast of his(f) and jiggled them in an all out effort on his(f) part to ascertain if those new tits of his(f) were the genuine articles or not. Needless to say, to Jake(f)'s utter chagrin and abject consternation, those new knockers of his(f) were undeniable the real thing. Just then, just as Jake(f) was about to get off the toilet and scope his herified self out in the wall mounted medicine cabinet's mirror surfaced door, he(f) caught sight of a note tapped - eye level - on the wall right smack dab in front of him(f). Jake, I'm sorry I'm wasn't there when you woke up. Regrettable, I had some pressing matters to attend to. Hopefully, I'll be able to see my way clear to stop in from time to time throughout the day to check up on how you're getting along. However, given my run of luck here of late and the way that persnickety Law of Mr. Murphy's works, it's a fairly safe bet that I won't be there while you're up and about. So, since I won't be there to see that you do what you need to do, I'm leaving you this list of things you need to attend to before you find that you need to lay down and go back to sleep. 1) Get dressed. I've left you a set of sweats and a pair of socks on the coffee table. Put them on. 2) Eat. The transsexualization process has depleted your energy reserves and you need to replenish them as quickly as possible. So eat till you can't eat anymore. I've left you a whole box full of high energy protein bars on the kitchen table and if you finish them, there' a couple more boxes of them in one of the cabinets. You can also help yourself to anything else that you find appetizing. Also, there's a bowl of fruit on the kitchen counter and I strongly urge you to eat some, especially a banana or two. 3) Drink. The transsexualization process has caused you to become a tad bit dehydrated. You also need to get your body's electrolyte level back up to snuff. So drink as much orange juice and water as you can while you're awake. Caution! Stay away from coffee, tea or soda. 4) I left you several vitamins tablets on the kitchen table. Take them. 5) Bush your teeth. You need to get rid of the halitosis breath that generally accompanies a full blown male to female transsexualization and you'll find a new, never used toothbrush, still wrapped in its' plastic tube, that I bought for you on the bathroom sink, right next to a new tube of that gel toothpaste that I know you like to use. 6) Rest. Take it easy. Sit on sofa. Read one my books or watch the boob-tube. Don't tax yourself by trying to do a whole lot of physical shit. You'll tire quickly and even if you would like to take a shower, I'd advise against it. Doing so would only tucker you out all that much quicker. Let the shower wait until I'm there with you. Y'know, just in case you might need my help. Love, Vicki P.S. Don't be an obstinate bonehead. Follow the instructions I've left you! P.P.S. Though you might not think so, I do love you, Jake and, while I know that there's no way in hell that you are going to believe me, in time, I personally guarantee that you are going to love this new body of your's. "Yeah... right... In a pig's eye I will...", Jake(f) sarcastically mutter in direct counterpoint to the last assertion on Vicki's note. Having vehemently crumpled Vicki's note and deposited it in the room's plastic trash receptacle, Jake(f), using the sink for support, got shakily to those markedly down-sized feet of his(f). Turning, so as to face the sink, Jake(f) was rendered flabbergasted as he(f) caught sight of his(f) reflected visage in the medicine cabinet's mirrored door. "Holy shit!", Jake(f) bemusedly exclaimed. "I'm beautiful! I'm no holds bar - beautiful! "No! Beautiful doesn't begin to cut it! "I'm not just beautiful... I'm gorgeous! Simply and unequivocally - gorgeous! Hell! I'm almost as gorgeous as Vicki is!" Then, after another bewildering moment of incredulous riddled self-appraisal, Jake(f) felt compelled to correct his(f) prior assertion. "Forget that 'almost' crap! Damn if I not as drop dead gorgeous as she is! "And that - pal! Is saying something... "I mean... Vicki's got to be - hands down - as gorgeous a woman as gorgeous can be! "Why she ever condescended to going out with me in the first friggin' place has always mystified me... "Hell! When you get down to the nitty-gritty of it... the big bug-a-boo that kept me from getting up the gumption to ask her to marry me in the first friggin' place was that I figured that she'd eventual wise up; get tried of me and drop me like a hot potato. Y'know, and go out with a guy who was more in her league in the looks department... "I mean... other than the fact that she and I share a whole lot of the same interests... I never - Ever! - understood what she saw in me... "Damn! I wish to God that I had known that I wasn't merely a passing fancy in her book! Y'know, and that she really would have loved for me to have asked her to marry me! "I mean... am I the biggest damn fool that ever there was... or what! "Damn it to all hell and back! Just look at me!", Jake(f) chided his herified self. "Damned if I'm not in that bitch's league now! Y'know, with this new bodacious bod of a body of mine... "I mean... damned if I don't look like one of my own wet-dreams come to life... "Oh, shit!", Jake(f) reeled, keenly aware of the effect that that new, built like a shithouse body of his(f) was having on that manly entrenched ego of his(f). "Vicki was right on the money! Every last freakin' bone in this undeniable female body of mine is a narcissistic one! "I mean... I'm standing here! Lewd and crudely gawking at myself in the mirror and I'll be damned if I'm not turning myself on! Suddenly, a jolt of pure, unadulterated erotic pleasure, emanating from the area in the immediate vicinity of the areola of that newly installed right titty-whitty of his(f), polarized Jake(f) being, making him(f) keenly aware that that new found narcissism of his(f) had its' own agenda, with that agenda being: the unfettered enjoyment of heretofore unexplored sexual pleasures, if not down right sexual perversions. The realization that he(f) had thoroughly, if not ecstatically relished the way that new body of his(f) had responded to a simple, self-engendered thumb-swirling titty-tweak, scared a extremely befuddled Jake(f) to the marrow of those narcissistically couched bones of that all new, extremely sensual and erotically super-sensitized body of his(f). "Oh, shit! Damn that felt good! "I knew girls' tits were a whole hell of a lot more sensitives than guys' tits... but I had no idea they were that friggin' sensitive... Jake(f) would have liked to have dickered around with those new and improved erogenous zones of his(f) for good while longer were it not for the fact that he(f) realized that he(f) was as hungry as all get-out and that if the information relayed in Vicki's note was indeed accurate, he(f) only had a limited amount time in which to attend to what he(f) had to attend to before he(f) tuckered out again and sleep overcame him(f). So, since time was at a premium, Jake(f), though he(f) was loathed to do so, stopped playing a very educational, intimate and enlightening self-targeted game of prod, poke and provoke and, very carefully, owing to that new center of gravity that he(f) was saddled with, retraced his(f) path back into Vicki's living room. There, on the cinder-block and wood plank excuse for a coffee table, as Vicki's note had stated, Jake(f) found nestled beneath another copy of the very same note he(f) had found tapped to the bathroom wall, the sweatshirt, sweatpants and socks that Vicki had so prudently left for her boyfriend - turned girlfriend - to don. Once dressed, Jake(f) made straight off for the apartment's rather cramped kitchen confines. There, ignoring yet another copy of Vicki's note that was secured to the refrigerator's door with one of those magnetic, picture frame do-jiggies, he(f) opened the fridge door; grabbed not one, but two 8 oz. Sunny Delights; pooped the top on the first; scooped up the vitamins from the kitchen table and wash them down his(f) gullet with three quick, gurgling swigs. A banana, a pear, apple and three protein bars followed in quick succession. Then, having polished off the second Sunny Delight, Jake(f), adhering to Vicki's instructions, though he(f) could have really enjoyed a fresh brewed cup of coffee, switched over to bottled water. The computer age programming principle of garbage in, garbage out motivated Jake(f) to make a hasty return to the bathroom for his(f) very first bowl-movement as a fully functional female. A thorough brushing of his(f) teeth followed immediately after that and even though he(f) would have like to have gotten back to that extremely intriguing and surprisingly pleasurable task of exploring all those new sexual gadgets of his(f) - up close and person like - Jake(f) was quick to realize that those few, what would have otherwise been purely nominal, physical exertions of hers and taken there toll. Jake(f) was tuckered out. So tuckered out in fact that he(f) knew, on an intuitive level of that staunchly male attuned comprehension of his(f), that, while he(f) might be able to forestall the advent of sleep for another few and rapidly fleeting minutes, were he(f) to push it any further than that, there was a better than even chance of zonking out on his(f) feet and there by, place himself(f) in the precarious positioned of a possible body injuring fall. Returning to the living room, Jake(f), who was yawning away to beat the band, took one look at the sofa's uninviting lumpy cushions and decided, "The hell with it! If I'm going to go to sleep again, I might as well avail myself of Vicki's bed..." * * * About an hour and a half after Jake(f) had crashed in the bedroom, Vicki, accompany by two cardboard box totting collegiate age beauties, entered the apartment and, upon taking note of the fact that her bedraggled sofa was unoccupied, immediately panicked. Unburdening herself by off-handedly and haphazardly placing the duct taped patched together violin case she had been carrying on her make-shift coffee table, Vicki frantically intoned, "Jake! Jake! Are you still here!" Receiving no reply, Vicki, ignoring the two box totting stacked and packed young women who had accompanied her, began a hasty, worrisome and energetic, room by room search of her apartment. Left, as they were to their own devices, the raven haired Eurasian looking girl prudently suggested to her red headed counterpart that they take the boxes that they had brought in with them and stack them, one on top of the other, on the living room floor, up against the wall and right alongside of the unfinished, natural wood night-table that Vicki had pressed into service, doing double duty as a two drawered miscellaneous storage repository and a VCR and television stand. A moment or so after they had done so, a noticeable relieved Vicki returned, saying as she re-entered the room, "He's still here - Thank the Lord! - in my bedroom... sleeping like a baby..." "Good!", the Eurasian girl replied, prompting the red head to inquire, "Would you like one or both of us to hang around, Vicki? Y'know, just to keep you company..." "No...", Vicki returned thoughtfully. "I think I'll be able to manage everything from here on out... "Besides... even though I'm not in any way, shape or form looking forward to our first face to face confrontation... y'know, when Jake wakes up... y'know, to find me here... when push comes to shove... I'd kind of like for the two of us to be alone... y'know, given all the ignominy he - as a she - is going to be contending with... " "You need say no more, Vicki.", the striking red head knowingly concurred. "Both Brenda and I fully understand where you're coming from..." "Damn straight!", the glossy, raven haired Eurasian beauty chimed in. "Look, Vicki...", Shannon, the freckled faced red head re-gained the floor, "...should you need us... y'know, for anything... anything at all... all you need do is: beep one or the other of us... Alright? "I mean... we're just be a couple blocks away. Y'know, as in: we'll be over at Karen and Gwen's place... y'know, doing what we usually do come damn near each and every Saturday night... Y'know, as in we'll probably send out for some pizza... watch some TV... and maybe... if Karen's not in one of her bitchcy, PMS induced moods... play a little double-deck pinochle and... in general... spend the evening commiserating with one another... Okay?" "Sure... If I need you guys... I'll be sure to call.", Vicki replied in a manner that clearly conveyed the fact that she harbored a strong desire to return to her bedroom to - as both Brenda and Shannon suspected - begin a vigil over her magically transsexualized former boyfriend - turned, hopefully girlfriend. Then, in a quick, sort of stutter step of a just percolated after-thought, Vicki, who was noticeable antsy, belated added, "Brenda... Shannon... before you go... I just want to thank the two of you again.. Y'know, for all your help you given me today... Y'know, because I could never have accomplished all that I accomplished without you guys pitching in and lending me a hand..." "Think nothing of it, Vicki.", Brenda returned briskly. "I mean... it's nothing that you wouldn't have done for one of us, Vicki. Besides, us Newbies have to stick together... now don't we..." "Brenda!", Shannon's voice sternly reverberated. "Can't you see that Vicki here wants to get back to that newly crotch creased 'man' of hers... y'know, A.S.A.P.! So... tell you what! Let's say our good-byes and there by, allow her to do just that..." * * * Once Shannon and Brenda had hightailed those delightfully tantalizing tushes of their's out of there, Vicki, having thrown the front door's dead-bolt, so as to prevent against any form of unwarranted entry, stopped by the kitchen to procure for herself what she deemed to be a well earned, properly chilled, long-necked brewski, and, having done so, made straight off for her bedroom and the supine and slumbering Jake(f) - the former Snake - Eagers. There, she picked up the book she had just started reading a night or so before and a small, unobtrusive personal reading light; positioned a chair alongside the bed in such a way as to allow her the ability to prop those charmingly daintified feet of hers up upon it; where upon, she parked that tush of hers upon the chair's seat cushion and, with a concerned and caring look towards Jake(f), began her self-imposed vigil. Somewhere, shortly after midnight, Jake(f), woken by an urgent and pressing need to once again empty that topped-off bladder of his(f), got up and, squeezing those emasculated inner thighs of his(f) together once again, waddled off towards the bathroom and its' much needed and often maligned porcelain human waste receptacle. With that personally degrading necessity of life's expeditiously taken care of, Jake(f), who found himself(f) feeling both as hungry and as thirsty as all get-out, decided that a trip to Vicki's kitchen was indeed in order. A banana and four protein bars later, Jake(f), with maybe a gulp or two left in her 24 oz. bottle of spring water to polish off before going back to beddie-bye, teetering somewhat due to that newly imposed center of gravity of his(f), gingerly retraced his(f) steps to the bedroom. Entering, Jake(f) realized something that he - as the she that he had so ignoble become - hadn't realized before. Vicki was there, stretched out in what Jake(f) presumed to be a most uncomfortable position, sound asleep in a ladder-backed chair that she had drawn up alongside of bed. Struck dumb in his(f) tracks, Jake(f)'s manly entrenched mind reeled as one polarized, gut-wrench emotion erupted, only to be savagely up-rooted and supplanted by another and another and another after that, in a seemingly never ending daisy chain like cascade of conflicting, confusing and down right confounding feelings. Starting with a wild and wicked plunge into the despicable and deplorable depths of a raw and eager hatred, Jake(f) found himself(f) - strapped front seat center - riding an emotional roller-coaster to end all emotional roller-coasters. Love supplanted hatred. Loathing supplanted love. Compassion - loathing. Anger - compassion. Empathy - anger. And so on... and so... and so... in the dazzling, mind blowing comprehension of the mutually exclusive ad infinitum of a most truncated and fleeting of moments. Riding rough shod over her(f) billowing and brooding sense of raging ire and abject indignation, the very same billowing and brooding sense of raging ire and abject indignation that ardently desired to take those delicately tapered, dexterous, long-nailed and well manicured newly feminized hands of his(f) and use them to wring that delectable aristocratic and kissable neck of Vicki's, Jake(f), though he(f) was at a loss as to explain to his herified self the why and wherefores of it, opted to take the high road approach, there by, persevering the gift of personal integrity that he - albeit a she - endeavored to give himself(f) as a cherished and precious gift at the end of each and every day of what had now become an ignominious life of a man magical entrapped within the body that was - hands down - about as becoming and bodaciously female as becoming and bodaciously female could, in anyone's vivid imagination, ever aspire to being. With his(f) fully justifiable anger simmering and seething below the surface, Jake(f), aware that nightfall had lowered the apartment's temperature considerable, took pity on Vicki by quietly venturing out into the living room; picking up the haphazardly discarded quilt from off the sofa where he(f) had dropped it earlier; returning to the bedroom and there, carefully, so to not wake or disturb her, arranged it ever so tenderly, ever so lovingly, over Vicki's sleeping form. Then, as he - as a she - wracked that manly couched, femininely housed brain of his(f), trying in vain to fathom out the impetus behind her previous kind-hearted actions, Jake(f) decided that it was cold enough to climb under the covers his herified self. So, since he(f) had always slept in the buff before, and didn't see any need to change that particular behavior trait just because he(f) had been so rudely and underhandedly changed into a rather well endowed girl, Jake(f) took the time to slip out of the socks and sweatsuit he(f) had been wearing and climbed in and under the sheets, where he(f) - in short order - was once again enveloped in the untroubled oblivion of recuperative slumber. Several hours later, a sharp, knife like, kink in her back encouraged Vicki to forego the chair she had inadvertently fallen asleep in, for the inviting comfort of her own bed. Being careful not to disturb Jake(f) as she did so, Vicki, having divested herself of the sleep-rumpled clothing she had been wearing, gingerly slipped in alongside of the sexy and succulently blonde bombshell that her former boyfriend had so fetchingly and begrudgingly become. An hour or so after that, Jake(f)'s level of awareness languidly began to surf in and out the hazy, semi-coherent, semi-incoherent boundaries of a near-conscious state of being. As it did so, Jake(f) slowly began to develop the distinct impression that that new, sublimely sensual, crotch creased body of his(f) was - in some nebulous, though thoroughly comforting, cuddly way - enveloped in the cozy warm-fuzzies of some engagingly wonderful and protectively nurturing envelope. Slowly, teasingly, that elusive impression of Jake(f)'s began to solidify, coalescing into Vicki's tangible and thoroughly loving embrace. Logic - considering what Vicki had precipitated via the implementation of that dastardly transsexualizing spell that she had so blatantly admitted to obtaining - dictated that Jake(f), upon the conscious realization that he - as a she - lay enfolded within the tender, if not out right loving, lesbian embrace of his former lady-love's arms, had ever right to flinch. However, be that as it may be, Jake(f) did nothing of the sort. Though he(f) was still justifiable irate about what Vicki had done to him - changing him into a shapely and cuntified her as it were - Jake(f) found that Vicki's embrace warmed the cockles of that new, femininely re-sized heart of his(f) in ways he - as a she - found to be both troubling and comforting, all tied up in one, neat, albeit confusing, little perplexing, mind-bewildering package. As Jake(f) lay there, lazily and lackadaisically pondering the mind-troubling enigma he(f) found himself(f) so engagingly embroiled within, sleep reached out and ever so gentle reclaimed him(f). * * * Jake(f) dreamily awoke to the breakfast defining aromas of frying bacon and sausage filling those cutely re-sculptured nostrils of his(f). Immediately, once that manly entrenched mind of his(f) consciously identified the scents that wafted so teasingly about the bedroom, hunger - a gnawing, omnipresent and not to be long denied hunger - and yet another compelling needed to empty that down-sized bladder of his(f), encouraged, in a no nonsense, not to be denied sort of way, Jake(f) to shag tush. Climbing out from underneath the covers, Jake(f), opting to forego re-donning the socks, for the time being, quickly clamored back into the sweats that Vicki had left for him(f) and beat feet for the bathroom and the blessed relief offered by its' porcelain repository. As he - as a she - indignantly sat there, internally bemoaning the obscene and down right humiliating fate that had befallen him(f) - as, he scoffed, 'a vagina equipped member of the female persuasion', Jake(f) began to ponder the three options Vicki had laid out for him - as a her - to consider. The merest contemplation of the prostitution option gave Jake(f) a bad case of the prickle skin producing heebie-jeebies. Jake(f) was adamant. There was no way in hell that he(f) would ever put his herified self in the unenviable and thoroughly debasing position where he(f) was ever going to allow some egotistical, macho-asshole so-and-so to take that grossly veined outty of his and cram it deep up inside of that clitoris equipped, multiple-lipped new little inney Jake(f)'s. Going to the authorities was out. If Vicki's assertions had been correct - and Jake(f) had no reason to believe they weren't - there was no way he(f) could go to the authorities; unless of course, he(f) didn't give a rat's ass about the very real and ominous possibility of his(f) ending up in a looney bin. That left Vicki's girl friend option. 'Unless...', Jake(f), who had been wracking that manly brain of his(f) trying to come up with something that Vicki might have either overlooked or purposely not mentioned, frantically speculated. * * * "Vicki!", Jake(f), riding rough shod of his(f) sense of billowing ire, contritely as he(f) could manage under the trying circumstances, began, as he(f) came to a complete stop within the kitchen's arched entrance way. "I give! You win! Change me back into a man and I'll be happy to marry you! "I mean... I'm sorry... I'm so, so sorry... "I just never realized that you actually loved as much as you do... or... at least... did - y'know, before you triggered that spell that... that... that..." Taking pity on Jake(f), Vicki matter-o-factly offered, "Turned you into a girl?" "Yes! That turned me into a girl... "I mean... while I thoroughly enjoyed being with you... y'know, doing all those things that you and I did... I just figured that... given the fantastic way you look, Vicki... it was just a matter of time before you came to your senses and dropped me like a hot potato - y'know, to go out with a guy who was more up to your standards - y'know, in... shall we say... the looks department... "I mean... if I hadn't been such a big dummy dunderhead... if I thought that you could have loved me even half... Hell! Even a quarter as much as I love you, Vicki... Make no never mind about it! I would have asked... No! Make that begged you - y'know, to marry me weeks ago!" "Oh...", Vicki, enjoying the moment, speculatively, if not a little sadistically, toyed with Jake(f), "So now... in lieu of what has happened to you... you are now willing to freely admit that you do love me..." With raw and rugged sense of abject consternation clearly conveyed in his(f) retort, Jake(f) responded with a, "Yes! Damn it, Vicki! I do love you!" "Whole big bunches?", Vicki, aware that she had the upper-hand in the proceedings, wickedly teased. "Yes, Vicki! Whole big bunches!" "Good... It gladdens my heart to hear you finally admit what I already knew to be true, Jake! "Oh...", Vicki was quick to add, "...as regards my feelings towards you, my dearest bedraggled darling... irregardless of the fact that you are now the very same sex that I am... y'know, physically speaking... be advised that I am still very much in love with you as well... "However Jake... since we've only got about four to five hours before it's back to beddie-bye time for you... out of necessity, we've got to put the time we have to good use. So... even though you and I have a lot to hash out.. y'know, should you elected to go with that roommate/girlfriend option of mine.. right now you need to sit yourself down at the table so that that I can whip you up some pancakes. Y'know, because... no matter what you decided to do... you've got to eat in order to get that strength of your's back up to snuff. Jake(f) did as directed, parking that man-troubling new tush of his(f) down in one of the kitchen's two available, ill matched chairs. "So...", Jake(f) hesitantly inquired. "What'da'ya think?" "About what?", Vicki, who's attention was focused on the pancakes she was making, nonchalantly asked over her shoulder. "About you... and your changing me back into a man... y'know, so the two us can get married..." "Well...", Vicki began as she carefully maneuvered a freshly grilled pancake out of the frying pan and onto a clean plate, "...while I really appreciate the offer, Jake dear... y'know, 'cause I kinda, really liked the notion of becoming your happily wedded wife... y'know, to have and to hold... for richer or poorer... in sickness and in health and all that other crappolla that goes hand and hand with the marriage vows... I'm afraid that option is no longer open to us... y'know, unless of course you aren't adverse to marrying another woman... y'know, lesbian fashion..." "Vicki!,", Jake(f) new feminine intonations clearly registered a sense of approaching panic, "Are you saying that you won't change me back into a man?" Placing a plate with four good sized pancakes down in front of her former boyfriend along with a bottle of the brand of strawberry syrup that Jake(f) favored, Vicki proceeded on say, "It's not a case of 'won't', Jake! It's more like a case of can't! "Besides...", Vicki was thoughtful, "...even if I could - which I can't - I wouldn't..." "And just why in the hell wouldn't you?", Jake(f) demanded tersely. "Because, Jake... my dearest darling... I kind of like you like this..." Jake(f) retort was poignantly charged, "Why? I mean... you're not a lesbian!" "Oh, but I am a lesbian, Jake dear..." "That's a bunch of bullshit, Vicki... and you know it! "I mean... you're no more a lesbian than I am!", Jake(f) hastily and heatedly added. "Jake... Jake... Jake...", Vicki teasingly chided. "If you're not a lesbian... y'know, now! Then, pray - tell me! Just what in the hell are you! "I mean... while that new body of your's is all girl... I'll bet you dollars to doughnuts that that mind... and more to the point... that libido of your's... are still as manly as they ever were! "Meaning... my poor befuddled and bedraggled darling... girls are still your ticket... and... unless I miss my guess here... will be for the rest of this convoluted, sexual identity crises confounding lifestyle that I... for admitted selfish reasons of my own... have forced upon you and that narcissistic new bod of a body that I've saddled you with... "You see, Jake... while technically speaking I would be classified as a bisexual... y'know, owing to the fact that I have swung both ways... y'know, getting it on with both men and women in the past... while I would have been more than happy to have continued to share your bed... y'know, as long there existed an outside chance that I would do so one fine day as your happily wedded wife... given my druthers... the sad and awful truth of it is: when it comes to a roll in the hay... I prefer going one on one with another woman... as... I think we can safely assume... you will too... "In other words, Jake... I'm a bisexual with strong... to the point of being damn near overwhelming... homosexual tendencies. "Hell, Jake!", Vicki vehemently declared as she, with a plate of pancakes in hand, seated herself at the table. "You're only the third guy I ever slept with and the first and only guy I ever went down on!" "Really?", Jake(f) response clearly echoed his(f) surprise. "Really!", Vicki countered was emphatic. "Remember, Jake? Remember when I took your hand and lead you into the bedroom that first night? Remember how I asked you to be please be patient with me... y'know, when I cautioned you not to expect to much... y'know, because of some long held inhibitions of mine... y'know, that more or less insinuated that there was something in my past... y'know, that I was still trying to come to terms with... y'know, that had resulted in my becoming somewhat frigid in bed..." "Yes... I remember...", Jake(f) freely admitted, as he(f) moved to take another sip from his(f) Sunny Delight. "And yes... you were a little frigid at first..." "Frigid! I was an iceberg, Jake! And you know it! "I mean... while I took to those masterful and marathon-like tongue lashing of your's like a duck take to water... y'know, thoroughly enjoying the hell out of myself - You talented tongue devil you! - when it came my turn to administer to those manly needs of your's... I wasn't what you might call a minx in the love-making department! "Hell, Jake! The first couple of times I actually got up the gumption to see my way clear to going down on you... if you ended up with a lick and a promise... as far as I was concerned... you were one lucky son of a bitch! Y'know, given how much I abhorred taking these lips of mine and putting them around that icky you-know-what of your's... "I mean... think about it, Jake! How would you feel? Now! Now that you're a girl yourself! Put in the unenviable predicament of having to down on a guy's thing?" "Vicki! Please! Not while I'm eating..." "Repulsive... isn't it?" "Repulsive doesn't begin to cut it!", Jake(f), sicken by the mere contemplation of what Vicki had so crudely suggested, found his herified self ardently and energetically concurring. In an effort to change the subject, Vicki went on to say, "I will say one thing, Jake. As a lover, you were a godsend. Both patient and skilled... "I mean... as far as I'm concerned... a girl couldn't have asked for a more considerate, more compassionate lover-boy than you, my dearest darling. You seem to always know just what to do and when to do it. I mean... you sure as hell turned me into a first class pillow eater! "And that, Jake... is saying something! Y'know, considering all those persnickety inhibitions that... in one fashion or another... prevented... or... shall we say... hampered me from fulfilling my part of the bargain..." "Vicki!", Jake(f) intruded. "Did I ever once complain?" "No... No, you didn't, Jake... And that speaks volumes... y'know, with respect to just how terrific a lover you are... "I mean... had you asked me to marry you... I have no doubt that in time... I would have been able to get past all these damnable inhibitions of mine... y'know, and managed... by hook or by crook... to be the kind of woman someone like you deserves to share both a bed and a life with! "You see, Jake... a year or so ago when I decided to get off this old duffer of mine and go husband-hunting... I sat down and had a serious, soul-searching, heart to heart confab with myself... y'know, to determine just what kind of man I wanted for a husband. "Unlike most women... who say that they want a mature, kind-hearted, considerate, level-headed, hard-working, compassionate man for a husband and perspective father for their kids... and end up marrying an immature, to often inebriated, macho-asshole want-to-be lout in the making... y'know, because the egotistical bastard's loads of fun to be with... y'know, because he's one of those hail hardy, well met, life of the party kind of guys... who's real, real cute... and all their air-head girl friends think he's the most dashing and debonair swinging dick in town... I knew exactly the kind of man I was looking for! "I was looking for one: a friend. Y'know, who pretty much shared the same likes, dislikes and things that I do - y'know, much way you do! "Secondly, Jake... I wanted a guy who wants pretty much the same sort of things out of life that I do... y'know, as in I wanted a business partner... who's head is going in pretty much the same direction that mine is! "I mean... I'm not living in this shithole of an apartment because I happen to like its' ambience, Jake! "Oh, no! I living here because the rent's about as cheap as they come... allowing me the ability to salt away ever penny I can afford to in a mutual fund that I have high hopes of using as... possible... a down-payment for a starter house... y'know, one of these days in the not to distant future... "And I'm wasn't about to go off half-cocked and marry some selfishly, immature lout who will take it upon himself to piss away this nest-egg that I've been so diligently scrimping and saving for... y'know, buying who knows what in the way of big boy toys... and end up leaving me with two kids in diapers and another one in this old proverbial oven of mine... y'know, for some teenage, big breasted, nymphed-out fluzzy... who thinks that egotistical bastard husband of mine's the cat's pajamas... "In other words, Jake... I wanted a stable man for a husband. And... though you might not think so... you are about as stable and as level-headed as they come. "And lastly... I was looking for a lover. I was looking for a man who had the patience, compassion and fortitude to help me weather through these damnable inhibitions of mine. "And guess what, Jake! You filled that bill to the tee! "Had you asked me to marry you... the way I hoped and prayed you would... you would have made the perfect husband for me... and I... on my part... was bound and determined to make you the perfect wife. In other words, Jake... I had already reconciled myself to the fact that if I had to get down on my knees and lustfully suck that cock of your's... y'know, like in every hour... of every day... until that persnickety until death do us part codicil comes into play... y'know, to satisfy my part of the bargain... I would have! "But did you ask me to marry you? "Nooo.... "You thought that you were nothing more than a passing fancy of mine... and that... sooner or later... I'd get tired of you and go out a find a stud to go out with in your stead. Y'know, when that was the farthest thing from my mind! "I mean... I did everything in my power to convince you otherwise and then some! "But would you listen? "Oh, no... You just figured that I was just like every other girl that's given you a hard way to go over the years! "Damn you, Jake! "Damn you to all hell and back! "I didn't want to do this to you! "I didn't want to turn you into a girl! "You might find this hard to believe... but I didn't! I really... truly didn't! "Fact is, Jake... though you might find this hard believe... I've actually had the spell that pulled this sexual switcheroo business on you for damn near two months now! "Meaning... I could have changed you into a girl anytime after I acquired it! "But I didn't, Jake! I could have... but I didn't!" "How come, Vicki?", Jake(f), bemused, inquired. "Because... you addle-brained idiot...", Vicki caustically replied, her voice clearly registering the fact that she was becoming extremely distraught as she did so. "...I kept hoping against hope that you'd wise up and come to the realization that I was the best thing that ever happened to you! I was hoping that you'd see the light; come to your senses and realize that I wasn't going anywhere! Now or in the future! I was hoping that you get it through that thick skull of your's that I love you! Y'know, with every ounce of my being! And that I'd be the best wife you could ever - in your wildest imagination - hope to have! "Hell, Jake! The last friggin' thing I wanted to do was invoke that spell!" "So why did you?", Jake(f) felt compelled to ask. "Because - Damn you to all hell and back! - My paranoia got the best of me and I got scared!" "Of what?" "Of you... of you and that girl who's in several of your classes!" "Angie?" "No!", Vicki snapped. "The other one! The cute, frumpy one! With an incredulous tone clearly conveyed in that sexy, throaty new voice of his(f), Jake(f) took another stab at it, "You mean, Brenda?" "Yes! Brenda! If she's the spunky little brunette that you've been seen tooling around the campus with... then, yes! I'm referring to Brenda!" "And you really think that I was going to dump you to go out with Brenda, Vicki?" "I don't know... Were you?" "No! I had no intentions of doing anything of the sort! "Beside... if I was going to do something like that... and I'm not suggesting for one minute that I was... I wouldn't have gone behind your back to do it! "I'd been up front about it! And you know it! "I would have told you that I wanted to... shall we say... re-negotiate this one-on-one relationship of ours... y'know, and end its'... shall we call it... exclusivity... y'know, so that both you and I could date other people... "But I didn't do that, Vicki!", Jake(f) voice was pained. "Fact is... I had no intentions of ever doing that! "Sure... I like Brenda! But, I like her as a friend... Not as a girlfriend... potential or otherwise! "And, yes... every now and again I spend some time during the day with her... y'know, like in the student union building... or in the campus library... or over at the cafeteria comparing notes... due to the fact that she's pursuing the very same major that I am... and because she is... she's in both my comparative religion and anthropology classes... "And that's the be-all and end-all of it, Vicki! "I like her! I don't love her! Y'know, like I do you! "Furthermore... until you went and pulled this presto-changeo guyo-girlo shit on me... y'know, and changed me into a cunt... once I got my BS degree and somehow finagle a way into graduate school... though I haven't the foggiest idea how I'm ever going to go about doing that... y'know, so I can get my masters... I had every intention of asking you to marry me!" "Really! You were really going to do that, Jake?", Vicki, upon hearing that last assertion of Jake(f)'s, became instantaneously exuberant. "Yes, Vicki... that was my plan... "You see... the way I figured it... if you put up with all my irritating little idiosyncrasies until I got my degree and graduated... I would know that I wasn't merely a passing fancy in your life... and that you really, truly loved me... and that the two of us had something really special going for us... y'know, something that we could build and expand upon... "Why? Why didn't you say something... y'know, like before this, Jake? "Because, Vicki... like you... I have my own personalized brand of paranoia to deal with... "Besides... try as I might... I could never understand exactly what you saw in guy like me, Vicki! "I mean... when it comes to the looks department... I was nowhere even remotely close to being in your league! "Well...", Vicki returned brightly, "...while that have been the case before, Jake... you sure as hell can't make that assertion now... y'know, give that new, built like a brick shithouse of a body of your's..." "Tell me about it!", Jake(f)'s sarcasm resounded with a raw sense of bitter consternation. "Come on, Jake! Buck up! You'll see! Being a girl isn't as bad as you're making out to be! "Yeah! Right!", contrary to the rules governing the proper use of the English Language, Jake(f), disheartened as he - as a she was - employed the DOUBLE POSITIVE to convey a very emphatically declared negative connotation. Grasping at straws, Jake(f), keenly aware that it was - at best - a futile effort on his newly herified part, fervently endeavored to lobby Vicki on the outside chance that she might take pity on him - as a her - and there by, find a means to restore him(f) to his(f) former manhood. "Vicki! Please! Oh, please! I'm begging you! Do whatever you have to do... go see whomever you have to go see... but, please - Please! - changed back into a man... and I promise... a great big cross my heart and hope to die kind of promise... that I'll marry you..." "Jake... you've got to belive me!", Vicki, having reached across the kitchen table and taking both of Jake(f)'s femininely slenderized and well manicured hands in hers, emotionally and emphatically began. "If I could... I would... "Regrettable... though I will make an inquiry... as I understand it... there's no going back. The magic only works in one direction. Y'know, as in there's no spell that I am presently aware of that'll turn a girl... who use to be a guy... back into a guy... "But, I'll check... and I'll keep on checking... y'know, for as long as you want me to... y'know, in the off-chance that such a spell does indeed exists... "Y'know... because, Jake... irregardless of what I did to you... y'know, with respect to this new physiognomy of your's... I really do love you... and I only what what's best for you... "And whether you want to admit it or not, Jake... I'm what's best for you... just as you - you big lunkhead - are what's best for me... and if takes my turning you into a girl to prove it to you... so be it! "I'll prove it to you! In spades... if that's what it's going to take! "Now... do me a favor, Jake! How about you and I stop running our mouths... y'know, so that we can finish up with these breakfasts I slaved over... y'know, because... like it or not... we've got to get crackin'... y'know, and attend to some other shit that needs attending to before it's time for you to head on back into the bedroom for another round of recuperative, post make-over sleep... * * * A few minutes later, having deposited their soiled cups and plates in the kitchen sink, Vicki and Jake(f) relocated to the living room, where upon entering, Vicki took charge of the proceedings by saying, "Yesterday morning... while you were here... sleeping the sleep of the dead so to speak, Jake... I... with the help of a couple of close friends of mine... ran over to your dorm and boxed up all your personal shit... "It's in those two boxes over there by the TV and I think it's a good idea for you to go through it... y'know, just to make sure we didn't overlook anything... y'know, that you might want in the future... "Am I correct in assuming that your roommate isn't due back to sometime either later tonight... or... sometime early tomorrow morning?" Jake(f), on his(f) way over to the stacked boxes, confirmed the fact that, to the best of his(f) knowledge, that was a fairly safe assumption on Vicki's part. "Good! That means... should we have missed something... y'know, that you really, really want... I have time to run back over there this afternoon... y'know, without anyone becoming the wiser... "Oh! And just in case you're wondering, Jake dear! I made sure to grab your fiddle! "See! It's over here on the table!" Jake(f) looked as Vicki continued on to say, "If I remember correctly... it belonged to your grandfather, didn't it?" Jake(f) confirmed the fact that it did and, having done so, returned to the task of rummaging through the first of the two boxes. Gingerly, chosing her words carefully, Vicki approached the next item on her laundry list of things that had to be covered before Jake(f) once again reached a point where he - as a she - was to pooped to proverbially pop. "Jake... while I know that you aren't going to like this... y'know, not in the least little bit... in order to make it appear like you - the male you that you use to be - up and pulled a disappearing act... I had to do something about that poor excuse of a car of your's..." Pained, Jake(f), in a very confrontational manner, demanded, "And just what in the hell did you do with my car, Vicki!" "Dumped it! "With those two friends of mine following me - convoy style - in their car... I drove that old rag-top klunker of your's all the way up to New Jersey... where I left it... with the driver's side door unlocked and the keys still in the ignition... hoping that someone might see 'em and take it for a joy-ride..." "Why? Why in hell did you do that, Vicki?", Jake(f) was quickly becoming livid. "Because, Jake... in order to make it look like you just took off... y'know, for who-knows-where... that old rust eaten 63 Mustang of your's had to be sacrificed... y'know, to help promote the sham that Jake Eagers had... on his own volition... for some reason or reasons... known only to himself... elected to become a missing person... "But, take heart, darling... because once we get you established as a bonafide, credit card carrying female citizen of these here United States of our's... if everything falls into line... y'know, like it should... I think I'll be able to put you behind the wheel of a mint condition MGB..." "How?", a bemused and curious Jake(f) found his herified self inquiring. "Let me worry about the 'how' of it, Jake. Right now... right this minute... all I need you to be concerned about is the contents of those boxes. Because... as soon as you're finished pursuing them... we're going to tape them up so that I can... shall we say... put them and your grandfather's fiddle in cold storage for you." "Cold storage! What in the hell are you talking about, Vicki?" "Think about it, Jake! Sooner or later somebody... most likely that beer guzzling jerk of a roommate of your's will notify the authorities that you're AWOL. And when that happens... there's the outside possibility that somebody will come knocking at my door to inquire as to whether or not I know where you've gone. "And if and when that admittedly remote possibility should arise, Jake... I don't want anything here... in this apartment of our's... that might cause some cop-type snoopy son of a bitch to take a special interest in what should otherwise be a very routinely mundane and unresolvable missing persons case. Okay? "I mean... while I freely admit that I'm going way overboard with these precautions of mine... it's like they say, Jake... an ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure. "Oh! And if you're worried about the fiddle business - don't! I've managed to get you a loner. "In fact... somebody should be stopping by this very afternoon... while you're asleep... y'know, to drop it off and to pick up these boxes of your's and your grandfathers fiddle. "Plus... though you might think this is going to extremes... I've arranged for you to use a friend of mine's lap-top. However... that won't be here till sometime later in the week..." "Vicki... Question..." "Sure... Shoot!" "My clothes? Were are my clothes?" "We bagged them all up and dropped them off at a Goodwill Reclamation Site... y'know, so that they can be put to good use." "Why? Why - For haven's sakes! - did you do something like that, Vicki?" "Because, Jake...", Vicki's voice conveyed a stern edge to it, "...they'll never fit this new body of your's, Jake!" "But! But, what if you can find a way to change me back into a man again? What am I going to do about clothes then?" "Don't go getting those new tits of your's in an uproar, Jake! "Should we come up with a way to change you back... which - I reiterate! - isn't at all likely... y'know, so don't go getting your hopes up... tell you what, my dearest darling! I will personally buy you a whole brand spanking new wardrobe. Alright? "As it is, Jake... until we can build up your own wardrobe... you have my permission to wear anything of mine that tickles your fancy... for example... that sinfully skimpy, scarlet satin teddy that you gave me last Valentine's Day... Take it from me, Jake! With this simply scrumptious new stacked and packed body of your's... you'd look absolutely divine decked out in it! "Fact is,", Vicki continued on with her light hearted tease, "...tonight... after you get a shower... I think it would do you good to have you model it for me... y'know, so you start getting a feel for what's in store for you... y'know, now that you're a girl..." "Vicki!", Jake(f) vehemently registered a protested, as he(f) began to root threw the second box containing his(f) personal things. "If you think for one moment that you are going to somehow coerce me into parading around this apartment of your's looking for all the world like a two bit hooker... you've got another think coming!" "Hmmm.... Do I detect one of those pesky double standards of your's rearing its' ugly little head here, Jake?" "What do you mean, Vicki?", Jake(f) tersely demanded. "Well... for starters... am I to take it that you think that I look like a two bit hooker decked out in that dick teaser special that you - yourself - bought me?" "Well... No! I... I... I...", Jake(f), confronted by Vicki's accusation, exasperatedly groped for a way out of the conundrum he(f) had inadvertently embroiled his herified self within. "Or...", Vicki, who was thoroughly enjoying the sticky wicket that Jake(f)'s hasty spoken and ill thought out words had landed him(f) in, teasingly offered, "...are you saying that while I don't look like a two bit hooker wearing that scandalous reviling teddy you gave me... you... for some strange reason... would?" "Yes! No! I mean...", Jake(f), realizing only to late that Vicki had skillfully maneuvered him(f) into an expertly and deviously crafted no-win situation. Letting him(f) off the hook, so to speak, Vicki supplied Jake(f) with the out he(f) was frantically searching for by saying, "I know what you mean, Jake. "What you're saying... or... more correctly... what you're trying to say... in that hypocritically inept way of your's... is that you're not ready to contend with all the humiliation that'll go hand in hand with you and your donning something as blatantly and bodaciously feminine as that red satin teddy of mine. Right?" "Yeah... or something along those lines...", Jake(f), letting out a long exasperated sigh as he(f) did so, resignedly concurred. "Look! I fully understand your reluctance... y'know, when it comes to you and your decking yourself out in sexy women's clothing, Jake. "However... though I really do understand where you're coming from, my dearest bedraggled darling... you have absolutely no idea what you're in for when you do! "Once you get past all the horrendous amounts of ignominy involved in your first few forays into the erotic world of the feminine mystic... I promise you, Jake... you're going to love it! "May I remind you... while that new body of your's is as feminine as feminine can be... y'know, as in its' as curvacious as all get-out... that lecherous mind of your's is male as it ever was! "Meaning... you've become a no holds bar, self-contained narcissist, Jake... y'know, who now possesses the innate... or... if you will... the unalienable ability to tickle your own fancy... y'know, no matter how crass and debasing that narcissistic fancy of your's might be! "For instance, Jake! As you've told me over and over and over again in the past... you dig the shit out of women wearing high heels! Right?" "Yeah...", Jake(f) sheepishly admitted. "So..." "So... guess what! Now that you're a girl... you can indulge that high heel fetish of your's to your hearts content... y'know, is in: you get to wear a pair of those pointy toed devils any old time you want! "In fact, Jake... I'm going to insist that you do just that! "You're shitting me... aren't you, Vicki?", Jake(f) was incredulous. "You're not seriously suggesting that I start wearing spike heels!" "Oh, but I am, Jake darling... "If I can wear them for you... guess what! You can wear 'em for me! "And to help you through the acclimation process... tomorrow night... right after I get home... we'll start you out with a pair of dress shoes of mine that have a one inch heel... which shouldn't present to much of a problem for you to handle and progressively... adding... shall we say... one inch a week... work you up to... what would now be for you... a dauntingly treacherous, lofty five full inches... "I also think we'll tackle the clothing business in pretty much the same way. Y'know, as in we'll sort of ease you into it... y'know, gradual like... "For instance, Jake... tonight... after you taken that shower that I made mention of before... instead of a freshly laundered sweat suit... I think we'll start you off with a pair of nylon/lycra running tights and a matching nylon/lycra sports bra... y'know, and possible... a slinky satin sleep shirt... y'know, that'll help you deal with the ignominy involve in your being decked out in a bra - sports or not - in the first friggin' place... "Hell, Jake! While I know fully well that you're not going to believe me when I say this! But, before you know it... you - lover - are going be brazenly prancing around this apartment of ours decked out in all sorts of erotic girl-shit paraphernalia... y'know, begging me to show you how to apply makeup to enhance those devilishly angelic new looks of your's... y'know, so can dash off to the bedroom and there, gaze into the full length dressing mirror... y'know, that's affixed to the inside of the door... so you can play a crass, self-gratifying bump and grind game of stink-finger with that nifty new little honey pot of your's... and there by, get those new feminized rocks of your's off... "And don't try to tell me you won't, Jake! 'Cause it's a given that you will... eventually... and probably... unless I miss my guess here... a whole hell of a lot sooner than later..." "Vicki...", Jake(f) queried. "Tell me something..." "Sure, Jake! Shoot!" "How come you know some much about this guyo to girlo shit? "I mean... right from the get-go... you knew exactly what was going to happen... when it was going to happen... and how it was going to happen! You also knew that I was going to need one hellaicious amount of recuperative sleep in the aftermath of this sexual make-over of mine... not to mention the fact that you had all those protein bars and fruit and vitamins set aside for me... y'know, to... I guess you could say... tide me over... "Granted... the witch... or Gypsy woman... or whomever you got the damn sexual switcheroo spell from in the first friggin' place could have given you a pretty good run down on what to suspect... y'know, once you triggered the spell that went and did a number on this formerly manly body of mine... but... even so... when you take all of that shit I just now mentioned into account... something doesn't jive, Vicki... "In other words... it seems to me that you know one hell of a lot more about what's going on here than would otherwise seem natural... normal... or... more to the point... reasonable... "How come?" "Tell you what, Jake! I'll give you three guesses... and the first two don't count.", Vicki smirked. Incredulously, Jake(f) exclaimed, "Vicki! Are you saying that..." "Yes!", Vicki snapped. "That's exactly what I am saying... "In fact... though you had no way of knowing this... back in our high school days... you and I engaged in some very intimate contact form time to time." "What!", Jake(f) was taken aback by Vicki's assertion. "What in the hell are you talking about, Vicki? The first time you and I met was on that university's canoe club sponsored trip down the South Fork of Shenandoah!" "Not true, Jake! I assure you... we locked horns somewhere in and around the neighborhood of six of seven times during those high school years of ours! "You were on La Salle Academy's wrestling team were you not?" "Yeah...", Jake(f) hesitantly answered. "Well... though you wouldn't know it to look at me now, Jake... I was on St. Bonaventuer's wrestling team... the very same weight class as you!" "Oh, shit!", Jake(f) aired shakily. "That's right, my dearest darling! I'm the guy who whipped your ass for the state championship in my senior year!" "In a pig's eye you did!", Jake(f) heatedly charge. "You might have managed to win that particular match... y'know, on points... but you never - Ever! - whipped my ass! "If I remember correctly... earlier that year... during the seasonal head to head team competition... I was the one that pinned you to the mat... and I was only a junior then!" "Yes... Yes, you did... You got me good that time... much the way I got you two years early... y'know, when I was a sophomore and you a pimple faced freshman... y'know, during the regional junior varsity championships... if... that's is... you can remember back that far..." "Oh... I remember alright!", Jake(f) freely admitted. "You and I were pretty evenly matched..." "That we were...", Vicki was quick to agree. "So... you're... or make that were... Victor... Victor..." "Spalding!", Vicki supplied. "That's right! My high school nemesis! Victor Spalding!" "Ironic... isn't it, Jake? "I mean... who'da thunk that two heterosexual swinging dicks... who wrestled against one another just a couple of years ago... would end up in bed together... playing a mutually satisfying game of hide the salami..." "Yeah...", Jake(f) halfheartedly and dejectedly concurred, "Who'da thunk..." "We also have something else in common, Jake!" "Yeah... Like what?" "Does the name Laura Bedlow ring a bell?" "Yes... Yes it does!", Jake(f)'s interest was peeked anew. "In fact, she's the girl I took to my senior prom!" "Yeah... and you broke up with her... or... more correctly... she broke up with you within a week or so afterwards... didn't she?" "Yes... Yes she did... But how th hell did you know about that?" "Because... my dearest bedraggled darling... she broke up with you to go out with me..." "She did... did she?", Jake(f) tersely demanded. "She sure as hell did! "You see, Jake... I was home from college... attending my first cousin's birthday party... and low and behold... guess who my first cousin, Irene's best friend just happens to be?" "Laura Bedlow...", Jake(f) dutifully supplied. "That's right! Your girlfriend! Laura Bedlow! "Well... since you weren't there... y'know, due to the fact that I believe you were off doing some back-country camping or something of that nature and couldn't attend... and since I had my reputation as a ladies man to uphold... and that Laura of your's was looking exceptional pretty that night... I just sort of put a move on her... y'know, just to let her know that I was interested..." "So anyhow... after she dumped you... I took her out a couple of times... then, once I nailed her ass... I gave her the old heave-ho and moved on to greener pastures..." "Oh...", Jake(f) mused, "...so you're the bastard that did a number on her head! "I mean... I don't know what you ever did to her, man... y'know, because she never fully confided in me... but I do know one thing form the few conversations I had with her! You devastated her... y'know, dumping her flat like you did! "I mean... you didn't even have the common courtesy to sit down and have a heart to heart with her... y'know, to let her down gentle..." "What can I say, Jake! I was a real egotistical, self-centered bastard back then! Y'know, as in I was a real love 'em and leave 'em kind of guy... "Now... I'm not in any way, shape or form insinuating that I am proud of the fact that I was like that, Jake... y'know, cause I'm not! Y'know, now that I've had a chance to view things from the other side of the sexual spectrum... as it were... "I mean... if I could go back and change it all... make no never mind about it! I would in a heart beat! "Because... there's no two ways about it, Jake darling... I was a real first class bastard... y'know, in so far as my dealings with women were concerned... "Fact is... that's how I - Mr. One Night Stand - ended up getting all girlified in the first place!" "You see, Jake... all throughout my freshmen year here on campus... and well into the first semester of my sophomore year... I was busy counting notches on my thigh bone... y'know, playing a fast and loose game of I've-got-to-have-a-different-women-every-night... when those callous ways of mine came under the scrutiny of a very small... very exclusive... cabal of women... y'know, who... like the two of us... didn't start of life as functional, pussy equipped females." Taken aback by Vicki's assertion, Jake(f) felt compelled to question, "You mean... there are others? Y'know, besides you and me?" "There most certainly are, Jake! "All told... I would guess... there's about thirty... give or take one or two... y'know, who are active members in this little, non-university sanctioned sorority of ours... and... over the course of the next several weeks or so - I assure you! - you'll get to meet each and everyone of them... y'know, that you haven't met already..." "You mean to tell me that I've met some already?", Jack(f) countered incredulously. "You bet that new ass of your's you have!" "Who?" "Well... Angie for one..." "Angie!", Jake(f) clearly couldn't believe what he(f) was hearing. "Angie... the stunning brunette in my psych class... the one that I helping write that report of hers... was once a guy?" "She sure as hell was... "In fact... if I remember correctly... Angie... who's name use to be Steven Something-or-other... made the transition about three months or so after I did. "But anyhow... getting back to my sad and awful story, my dearest, dilapidated and thoroughly bemused and bewildered darling... there I was... porking coeds right and left... on almost a nightly bases... and slam! Bamb! Thank you ma'am! I come under the scrutiny of this underground group of Newbies... y'know, for that's what we guys turned girls affectionally call this close knit little cabal of ours... "You see, Jake... Jennifer... one of our senior members... just happens to be an associate professors here at the university... who... to help her augment her limited finances... holds down a position as a dorm monitor. "Well... to make a long story short... in the course of her duties as one of the university's dorm monitors... Jennifer... who... as you will soon learn for yourself... is a do-gooder to end a do-gooders and... because she is... she is known for her compassionate ear... began to hear my name crop up... y'know, like in: over and over and over again... in a very negative and unflattering manner... y'know, with the terms cad and bastard prominently affixed to it... y'know, due to the cavalier manner I adopted towards members of the fairer sex... y'know, when it came to them and me and my getting those old male rocks of mine off... "So anyhow... after this whacked-out psycho in her dorm damn near succeeded in killing herself with an over-dose of illegal obtained barbiturates... y'know, because... as she claimed... I wouldn't return her calls... or go out with her... Jennifer felt that it was high time that somebody step in and stop me from doing what I had been doing. "So... in the next scheduled monthly meeting of the Newbies' steering committee... Jennifer... who has been hard at work surreptitiously complying a whole shit load of damning circumstantial evidence against me... passionately presented her case. The steering committee - in turn - deemed Jennifer's evidence compelling enough to put my case on the docket of the Newbies next General Membership meeting slash social get-together slash pig-out party... where it was in due course decided... via a plurality of its' attending members... y'know, that overwhelming came to the conclusion that I needed to be taught a lesson... y'know, that I wouldn't soon forget... "Wouldn't you know it, Jake... that... unbeknownst to me... I've been trying to get into this simply gorgeous Newbie named Karen's pants since the start of the fall semester... y'know, with no success what so ever... y'know, because she had once been a he and therefore, a confirmed, dyed in the wool lesbian lovin' dyke... only I'm not aware of that little fly in the ointment... which... as you might well expect... tends to making me lust after her all the more... y'know, because of the challenge she presents to that egotistical, macho, thoroughly male ego of mine... y'know, the very same male libido driven ego that still rears its' ugly little head from time to time... y'know, to bite me on this succulent, man-magnet constructed tush of mine... "Then... out of the clear blue... Karen leads me to believe that she has had a change of heart... and that... after months and months of turning me down flat... she informs me that she would be delighted to go out on a date with me... "Little did I know that it was a fiendishly orchestrated set-up! But... unaware of the consequences... I bit! Hook! Line! And sinker! "So anyhow... I took Karen out to dinner and then.. on her suggestion... we went to one of those murder mystery plays they put on every weekend over at Bradshaw Hall's intimate theater. Afterwards... once again on Karen's urgings... we went over to a friend of her's apartment... where she up and whipped this girl-shit on me... y'know, much like I did to you on Friday... "And like you, Jake... I was pissed! "However... once Karen and some of her Newbie cohorts presented me with the very same three options that I presented to you... I - as I hope and pray you will, Jake - went with the logical and viable choice open to me. Though I wasn't at all happy about the unenviable prospect of living out the rest of my life as a pussified girl... as I'm sure you're not... shall we say... ecstatic about.... since I didn't have much of a choice... I grudgingly accepted their offer to help me make the necessary adjustments. "Let's say... since I didn't have... what you might call... a Newbie sponsor... y'know, who would take me under her wing so to speak... y'know, such as you have with me... I became sort of a team project..." As Jake(f) sat there, intently listening to Vicki's discourse, he(f) began to put two and two together and came up with a great big, degrading, mind numbing, gut wrenching, 'Oh, shit!'. "Vicki!", Jake(f) frantically intruded, desperately clamoring to get something troubling him(f) clarified A.S.A.P.! "Yes, Jake dear..." "Let me get something straight here!" "Okay..." "When these Newbies of yours turned you into a girl... were you... or were you not... a heterosexual?" "I was...", Vicki, unsure as to where this inquiry of Jake(f)'s was going, replied quizzically. "I mean... up to that point in your life, Vicki... had you ever engaged in anything that even remotely resembled a homosexual activity... y'know, involving you an another guy?" "No... Unless you what to call jerking off in a garage with a whole lot of other adolescent guys pulling their own puds... y'know, in a semen spewing contest... a homosexual activity... the answer to you question, Jake is: no! I never - Ever! - engaged in a homosexual act with another guy..." "So... if I'm hearing you right, Vicki... prior to becoming a girl... I take it that you thought of yourself as a confirmed heterosexual... y'know, and not a bisexual?" "Correct...", a bemused and bewildered Vicki replied. "But now... in light of what happened to you... y'know, with respect to your becoming a physically functional female... you now classify yourself as a bisexual... y'know, because... even though you still prefer women - y'know, over men... you... by your own omission... have had sex with not only myself... but two other guys before me..." "Yes...", Vicki said, leaving the 'So what's your point' rejoinder ponderously hanging there, implied, but intentionally left unsaid. Tentatively, unsure if he(f) really wanted to hear Vicki's answer or not and with a queazy, sick sort of feeling beginning to gnaw away in the pit of that newly herified and down-sized stomach of his(f), Jake(f) fearfully asked, "Vicki... are you saying that... once I get... I guess you could say... acclimated to being a girl... I'm going to reach a point where I'm going to actually start liking guys... y'know, the way most girls... y'know, who are born to be girls... do?" "No!", Vicki demonstratively proclaimed. "I mean... while I'm not saying that such won't happen... y'know, because... though you might not even be aware of the fact that you harbor some sort of latent homosexual tendencies that even you're not aware of... knowing you as I do... I think it's fairly safe to assume that such an eventuality will never occur in your case, Jake! "Besides... if you ever do get it in that manly mind of your's to go out and experiment... y'know, just to see how it feels to have some guy's pecker shoved up inside that new little honey pot of your's... make no never mind about it, Jake! I promise! You will rue the day! "You see, Jake... my dearest darling... as far as I'm concerned... your pussy is as much mine as it is your's! Just as mine is as much your's as it is mine! "Meaning: I won't stand for anybody - be that anybody male or female - dickering around with that new little you-know-what of your's! Just as I hope and pray... once you reconcile yourself to the fact that I, one: have your best interest at heart... and two: that I really - Truly! - do love you... with my whole heart and soul... that you won't tolerate anyone messing around with mine! "However... having said all of that... getting back to my statement concerning my bisexuality... I think a little clarification is in order... "You see, Jake... in the days and weeks following my own transsexualization... I spent a lot of my free time soul searching... only to confront the stark realization that my piss-poor attitude towards women was rooted in my own long hidden, long denied feelings of sexual inadequacy... "I feared rejection and because I did... and still do... I feared commitment! "And... though I wish it hadn't... that fear of mine fed my paranoia. "Meaning... I feared you... my poor, poor baby... feared commitment too! "You see, Jake... as I began to reconcile myself to my new life as a girl... I slowly... but surly... came to the realization that I wasn't at all happy about spending the rest of my life alone! "Trouble was... as you will soon come to realize for yourself... most of the Newbies are already paired up in monogamous, mutually satisfying relationships with one another. And those that aren't... as a general rule of thumb... aren't interested in establishing one. Y'know, as in they are content in living the rest of their lives all by their lonesomes... were I am not! "That meant... that I was put in the unenviable position of being the odd man - Excuse me! - make that odd woman out! Y'know, as in I ended up... more times than not... feeling like that old proverbial fifth wheel that you're always hearing about! "And Jake... to put it bluntly... being a fifth wheel ain't no f